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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not enough physical exercise. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures are there to this problem?

In today's fast-paced era, it is argued by many physicians that
people
Use synonyms
 engage less in physical
sports
Use synonyms
. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon stems from a combination of the increased challenges in individuals' lives,
such
Linking Words
 as financial strains and a lack of
time
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 scenario, both lawmakers and
people
Use synonyms
 should implement measures to solve
this
Linking Words
 pressing issue. There are a wide range of reasons depriving one of
involving
Replace the word
involvement
show examples
 in physical activities, including financial burdens and a scarcity of
time
Use synonyms
 for entertainment. To be more precise, individuals devote more
time
Use synonyms
 to
overcome
Wrong verb form
overcoming
show examples
 their financial challenges, leading to them not having enough
time
Use synonyms
 to engage in
sports
Use synonyms
. A pertinent example is Iran, where
people
Use synonyms
 have been compelled to work overloaded hours during the day, which prevents them from not only doing exercise but
also
Linking Words
 spending
time
Use synonyms
 with their family.
As a result
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 problems play a crucial role in declining one's tendency to participate in
sports
Use synonyms
. To address
this
Linking Words
 problem, policymakers and
people
Use synonyms
 can carry out initiatives to manage
this
Linking Words
 challenge.
To begin
Linking Words
, governments can
found
Verb problem
establish
show examples
 an extended variety of clubs that
present
Verb problem
offer
show examples
 their services
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 diverse hours to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to take part in
sports
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they can produce TV shows that motivate one to implement simple exercises in their home.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
, by managing their schedule, can devote a room in their life routine for exercising.
For instance
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 America, policymakers have established a large number of clubs that allow
people
Use synonyms
 to join in
sports
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 various hours of
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 financial strains and the busy timetable,
people
Use synonyms
's inclination to engage in physical activities has decreased, which has heavily affected their
overall
Linking Words
 health. In
this
Linking Words
 case, individuals and lawmakers, by performing measures
such
Linking Words
 as establishing
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 clubs and devoting a specific
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 leisure activities, can effectively overcome
this
Linking Words
 pressing challenge.

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task
Add more full idea for each point. Give at least one clear reason and one clear example for each cause and each fix.
coherence
Make the writing flow good. Use clear links between ideas with better topic sentences.
coherence
Use more exact examples and show how the idea helps. Avoid vague words.
overall
The essay shows a real plan and a view.
examples
Some good examples are used.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • physical activity
  • lifestyle changes
  • busy work schedules
  • access to facilities
  • cultural attitudes
  • recreational activities
  • health benefits
  • work-life balance
  • healthy habits
  • exercise routines
  • promoting physical fitness
  • sedentary behavior
  • energetic lifestyle
  • personal health responsibility
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