IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people think that the internet has created big problems for both society and the individual. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The
internet
Use synonyms
 has created massive changes in
society
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. Many
people
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 think that the
internet
Use synonyms
 is a negative influence on both
society
Use synonyms
 and the individual. I partially agree with
this
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 statement.
This
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 essay will provide information to support my opinion. I completely disagree that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has created serious problems for
society
Use synonyms
 .
First,
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nowadays
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 the
internet
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 ,
people
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 can shop online.
For
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example
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, women buy clothes and makeup products through online applications.
Also
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,
people
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 nowadays don’t have
time
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 to buy food , so they order food online.
Second,
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the
internet
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 has a positive effect on education.
For
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example
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, with the
internet
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 ,
people
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 can
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in classes and do online learning.
Also
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, they can communicate with
people
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 from different countries and learn new languages and cultures.
Finally
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,
people
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 can read the news on the
internet
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.
For instance
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, global events are quickly posted online.
However
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, I do agree that the
internet
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 has negative aspects for the individual.
First,
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people
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 nowadays spend more
time
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 on social media or playing video games.
For
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example
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,
instead
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 of spending their
time
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 playing outside or reading books , they spend their
time
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 on the
internet
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.
Second,
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the
internet
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 has serious health issues for individuals.
For
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example
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,
people
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 nowadays have problems with their eyes because they spend too much
time
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 on their computers .
Moreover
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, they often have trouble with their sleep because
often they
Correct word order
they often
show examples
 lose track of
time
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 on their phones.
Finally
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,
people
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 nowadays can use the
internet
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 in the wrong way .
For instance
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, they may use the
internet
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 to bully
people
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 and threaten them. In conclusion, I firmly disagree that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has created major problems for
society
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
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, it has enhanced life.
However
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, I completely agree that it can be problematic in some
people
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's lives. The aforementioned points strongly prove my point of view.

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content
Be clear about your view in the opening sentence. State your main stand in one line.
structure
For each idea give one simple reason and a short example.
cohesion
Link ideas with easy words: First, Next, Also, But, In all.
language
Use small, short sentences. Do not run on long lines.
task
Check you are answering the task. Talk about both sides and end with your view.
content
The writer shows a clear view on the topic.
content
Examples are used to show the points.
structure
The writing is split into parts that show a plan.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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