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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asían countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asían countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
This
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 graph shows data about the percentage of people who live in cities in four different countries between 1970 and 2020. It
also
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 predicts the data
of
Change preposition
for
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 2030 and 2040.
Overall
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, we can see that the number of people living in cities has increased notably since 1970. The evolution of some countries has been very fast,
while
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 others have been much slower. In Malaysia in 1970, 30% of the population used to
live
Wrong verb form
lived
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 in an urban zone.
However
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, the percentage has increased
very much
Rephrase
significantly
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 between 1990 and 2000 and in
2020
Punctuation problem
2020,
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 the percentage is around 75. Predictions say that in
2040
Punctuation problem
2040,
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 it will achieve 80%. In Indonesia, something similar occurs. Between 1970 and
2020
Punctuation problem
2020,
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 the number went from 15% to almost 50%. In the
future
Add a comma
future,
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 it will continue increasing to
near
Rephrase
nearly
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 60% in 2040. For the
Philippines
Add a comma
Philippines,
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 the evolution is not that deep. It started with 31% in 1970
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 in 2020 it
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 42%. 20 years from now,
this
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 number will achieve 50%.
Finally
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, Thailand started with 19% in 1970 and in 2020 achieved 30%. Predictions state that in
2040
Punctuation problem
2040,
show examples
 it will be around 45%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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