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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that physical education classes are an important of childs education. While others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time Discuss both the views and give your opinion

Methods of
children
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's class organisation have always been a controversial issue.
While
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 some people affirm that physical
education
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 courses remain important for
children
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's
education
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,the other proportion ,including me,
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
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 that
children
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 should focus on academic development during
school
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 time.
This
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 essay will discuss why
this
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 is the case and the reasons
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 prefer focusing on academic achievement. On the one hand, specific courses in sports make childrens very fresh ,exited,and ready to learn and take informations from teachers.90% of childrens in primary
school
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 often feel that studing is very bored and don't like to go to the
school
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 everyday and prefer enjoying the time at home playing video games or watching TV , so the presence of physical educational classes encourage
this
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 childrens to change the first impression, because individuals aged between 8 and 13 years old prefer always the physical activities which allow them to be in touch with other freinds , so it helps them to be attached to
school
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 ,and
this
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 wil lead to better performence in
education
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.
On the other hand
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 , sometimes young students ignore the necessity of learning and focus only on playing in the sports courses. Many parents nowadays prefer that their
children
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 focus only on academic performance during weekdays and plan a physical activity like playing football or going to the swimming pool by the end of the
week
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weekends
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.The result will be amazing :
the
Correct word choice
and the
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children
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 will be more productive in both areas. In conclusion, both physical and academic tasks are important for the child
,
Punctuation problem
.
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I prefer that the child take them separately, focusing on his
education
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 at
school
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 on weekdays, and on his physical achievement on weekends.

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planning
Plan before you write. Say your view in the intro and rest in the body, then restate in the end.
coherence
Make a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and connect ideas with simple links like and, but, also, for example.
content
Add more easy examples that fit the point and show why the idea matters to a child at school.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Use simple, correct sentences and some basic grammar rules.
structure
The essay keeps to the topic and shows both sides.
content
There is a clear end with a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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