IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Its
Use the right word
It's
show examples
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
 trend around the globe that
Use synonyms
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 are shifting to the big
cities
Use synonyms
, thereby decreasing the citizens living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 it brings some benefits to the
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 who are migrating to the urban
cities
Use synonyms
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
personally speaking,
this
Linking Words
 trend is decidedly a negative development for the country. The trend of moving to the big towns
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 greater job availability than
rural
Change preposition
in rural
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. Because of the infrastructure needed, only developed in the big
cities
Use synonyms
, the majority of the
factories
Use synonyms
 are situated there. More
factories
Use synonyms
means
Correct subject-verb agreement
mean
show examples
 more employment opportunities in big
cities
Use synonyms
. So,
people
Use synonyms
 have a better chance
to find
Change preposition
of finding
show examples
 a job in big
cities
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Bangladesh majority of
garments
Fix the agreement mistake
garment
show examples
factories
Use synonyms
 are established in Dhaka, Gazipur, Narayanganj,
Manikganj
Correct word choice
and Manikganj
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
resulted
Verb problem
has resulted
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
moving to
show examples
move
Verb problem
apply
show examples
these
cities
Use synonyms
, making these
cities
Use synonyms
 among the densely populated towns in the world. Over 20 million
people
Use synonyms
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in Dhaka because of lucrative job opportunities.
However
Linking Words
, it creates difficulties for the government authorities in
proving
Verb problem
providing
show examples
 basic facilities, like
food
Use synonyms
, shelter, education, better sanitation, better environment,
provide
Wrong verb form
and providing
show examples
 safety to the residents, etc. to the incoming
population
Use synonyms
. When
people
Use synonyms
 move from the countryside to the urban
cities
Use synonyms
, it brings several negative consequences.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it will create
Correct article usage
a labor
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 shortage in the countryside. Rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 will face difficulties in providing essential services,
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 in delivering health care services to every rural
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 because of the shortage of
people
Use synonyms
. The
second,
Linking Words
in the countryside, where
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 related to the agriculture sector,
people
Use synonyms
moving
Verb problem
are moving
show examples
 to urban
cities
Use synonyms
, meaning that
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are available to cultivate the
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
 for
food
Use synonyms
 production. When
food
Use synonyms
 production
reduced
Verb problem
is reduced
show examples
 significantly, it will
forcing
Wrong verb form
force
show examples
 the government authority to import staple items to feed the
population
Use synonyms
 of the country. In conclusion, when migration
is happened
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
bigger
Correct word choice
larger
show examples
magnitude
Check wording
scale
show examples
, it
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
burden
Correct article usage
a burden
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the authority where
people
Use synonyms
moved
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 and
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the labor
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 force
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 ultimately
reduced
Wrong verb form
reduces
show examples
 the main
food
Use synonyms
 production. The step administration can take
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is the
decentralization
Change the spelling
decentralisation
show examples
 of
factories
Use synonyms
 so that
people
Use synonyms
 can work where they live.

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task
Make a clear plan. State your view at once. Then give two or three strong reasons. End with a small solution area.
coherence
In each para, have one main idea. Use simple link words to join ideas, like 'and', 'but', 'so', 'for', 'because'.
coherence
Your intro and conclusion should mirror your view. Start with a short statement of view and end with a short restate.
task
Use examples that are easy to see. Give a fact or small number that shows a point.
grammar
Watch the grammar. Check subject and verb, plural s, and preps. Read aloud to feel wrong parts.
stance
You show a clear view that moving to cities is not good for the country as a whole.
example
You add a real example from a country to show how this happens.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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