IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping center or mall to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

As modernity
gives
Verb problem
has
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 the biggest effect
to
Change preposition
on
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 every
aspects
Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
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especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 in
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
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 and
Use synonyms
market
Fix the agreement mistake
markets
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, nowadays many local
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been replaced with modern
Use synonyms
market
Fix the agreement mistake
markets
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. It has both positive and negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
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, and
this
Linking Words
 essay will explain why. One of the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 is
it
Correct word choice
that it
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 is more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
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 to buy something because
people
Use synonyms
 can grab their own needs.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they can
also
Linking Words
 choose the best product that they really want.
For instance
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, when you want to buy a bottle of soda, you can pick the cold one or the regular one based on your preference.
Furthermore
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, it is easier to buy an immense amount of goods in
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 shopping
center
Change the spelling
centre
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, because the
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 always
available
Correct word choice
apply
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in stock.
Lastly
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, the price
is remain
Wrong verb form
remains
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 stable and always
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 in every
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
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. They
also
Linking Words
 offer
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
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 and vouchers for the customers which
are
Verb problem
apply
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can be cheaper than
local
Correct article usage
the local
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market
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, the disadvantage is
customers
Correct word choice
that customers
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 will have less interaction
to
Change preposition
with
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 others. In a local mart, sometimes the seller and the buyer have a simple conversation,
while
Linking Words
 it is not barely
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
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 in a large shopping centre.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can be difficult to buy something in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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small
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can buy just one-half kilograms of sugar in
local
Correct article usage
the local
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market
Use synonyms
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 you can arrange the amount
whatever
Correct word choice
however
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 you want, but it cannot
be
Verb problem
apply
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happen in
supermarket
Correct article usage
a supermarket
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 because they have packed it well. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 development can be easier, it
also
Linking Words
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 the interaction among
people
Use synonyms
.
While
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people
Use synonyms
 believe it has advantages or not, it
is
Verb problem
apply
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depends on someone's viewpoint.

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task response
State a clear yes or no to the question in the introduction or conclusion.
coherence
Start each paragraph with a clear topic idea and keep one main idea per paragraph.
cohesion
Use linking words to show the flow of ideas and connect sentences within a paragraph.
grammar
Check grammar and form, especially articles and plural nouns.
planning
Make a short plan before you write to keep ideas on track.
lexical
Use simple sentences and common words; avoid long, hard phrases.
strength
Clear attempt to discuss both sides of the issue.
strength
Examples are used to illustrate points (like soda choice).
strength
Essay has a simple structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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