IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, students are encouraged to choose a university major based on future job prospects rather than their personal interests. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.

Students
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 are encouraged to select a
field
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 of
study
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,
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apply
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 by considering
career
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 prospects
instead
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 of personal interests.
This
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 essay acknowledges that it is a positive development. The arguments supporting the view that
this
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 tendency is a positive development will be presented in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, selecting a
field
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 of
study
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in
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at
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university
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 by considering
job
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 opportunities can enable
students
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 to get a
career
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 more easily.
In addition
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, it can lead to being financially provided
and
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for and
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 motivated.
For example
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, many
students
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 who graduated in accounting are not only able to be employed quickly
due to
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 the needs of
the
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apply
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society but
also
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 are able to support themselves financially. These can
also
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 motivate them even more than an interest in a
career
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.
As a consequence
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, choosing a
university
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field
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 based on
career
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 opportunities should be prioritised.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 choosing a discipline in the
university
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 based on personal interests allows
students
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 to be satisfied at
first,
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they may become depressed, and
this
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 may even lead to changing their
field
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 when they fail to find a
job
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.
That is
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 why most societies guide
students
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 to consider the future of the
job
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instead
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 of just their eagerness.
To conclude
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,
this
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 essay supports the view that learners must consider
job
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 opportunity importance
while
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 choosing a
field
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 of
study
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 during their education.
Therefore
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, neglecting
this
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 issue may cause complications in the future,
such
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 as financial constraints. It is recommended that societies guide
students
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 and make them aware of
job
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 prospects from the first
grades
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grades,
show examples
 in order not to consider personal interest as the only factor
while
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 choosing a
field
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 of
study
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 at
university
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.

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task response
Your view is clear, but the essay needs more proof. Add 1 or 2 more ideas and details for each point.
task response
Give more examples, not only one. It helps show your idea.
language
Check long sentences. Shorter lines help the reader.
coherence
Use linking words to connect ideas in a better way.
structure
In intro and conclusion, restate your view in a few strong lines.
strength
The essay shows a clear view that job odds matter.
strength
It uses 'To begin with' and 'On the other hand' well for fluency.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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