IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter • explain why you would like the job • give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ • say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

Dear Sir, I hope you are
going
Use the right word
doing
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 well
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I am fine. We don’t
seen
Wrong verb form
see
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, so
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 miss you. I am writing to speak, that i want going in an
Australian
Use synonyms
 in order to live with Family and look after to live in
Australian
Use synonyms
 six year old Children. It takes me about six
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
 to live in
Use synonyms
Australian
Use the right word
Australia
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. I have seen an advertisement in an
Australian
Use synonyms
 magazine. I think, so it is a good Chance for me in the Future. It
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 me not only many Money but
also
Linking Words
 interesting
Experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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. It is a beautiful Moment in my Youth. I find
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
i
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 suitable quite with the Job, because
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 have
take
Wrong verb form
taken
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 care of Children
about
Change preposition
for about
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 2
Year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 in Kindergarten. I think
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 can take good. I work in
Use synonyms
Australian
Use the right word
Australia
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have
Correct word choice
and have
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 a positive effect on a good Chance for me in the Future.
Beside
Use the right word
Besides
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it
Punctuation problem
, it
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help
Wrong verb form
helped
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 me beautiful Experience in my Youth. I think
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 people are friendly, so you don’t
worry
Verb problem
have to worry
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 about me. When I have free time,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 would not only make
video
Correct article usage
a video
show examples
 call with you but
also
Linking Words
 explore
news
Use the right word
new
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 Places. It helps me enjoy different Foods and learn valuable lessons about life. I find that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 it is
wonderful
Correct article usage
a wonderful
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 Experience. How do you think? Please reply
me
Change preposition
to me
show examples
. With best wishes! Ms Van Anh

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organization
Split your letter into clear parts: one part for why you want the job, one part for why you are a good fit, and one part for how you will spend your free time.
grammar
Use short, clean sentences. Check grammar and use the correct forms like 'I want' and 'I will'.
coherence
Put one idea in each paragraph. Start a new paragraph for a new idea.
tone
End with a simple closing such as 'Best wishes' and your name.
structure
Polite start with 'Dear Sir' and a kind closing.
content
You note you have care work experience.
tone
Your tone shows a calm and respectful mind.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
  • Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
  • Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
  • Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
  • Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
  • Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment
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