Some people say that outdoor activities bring more benefits to children's development than computers .to what extent do you agree or disagree

It is often stated that the benefits of
outdoors
Replace the word
outdoor
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
for growing up
children
Use synonyms
are more than working with
computers
Use synonyms
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
view because they can meet new people and develop their social
skills
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,
although
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computer
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skills
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should
also
Linking Words
be taken into account. There is some truth in the argument that
woking
Use the right word
working
show examples
with
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
is
also
Linking Words
an important part of
childern
Correct your spelling
children's
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
. In
this
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centuary
Correct your spelling
century
, everybody should be able to work with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers
Use synonyms
. There is a lot of useful information
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the Internet.
Therefore
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, being able to work with
Use synonyms
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
is decent.
Moreover
Linking Words
, teenagers can learn
news
Use the right word
new
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
in
computers
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.
For example
Linking Words
, by using a personal
computer
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, they can learn new languages for free
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
YouTube.
However
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, I believe that outdoor
activities
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are
essntial
Correct your spelling
essential
for
children
Use synonyms
. One reason for
this
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is that social
skills
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can be achieved
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
outdoors
Replace the word
outdoor
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
can make new friends by playing football or basketball with their peers in the neighbourhood.
As a result
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, they can improve their
communicating
Replace the word
communication
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
. They will understand how to behave in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, and
also
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they can find out about their talents.
In addition
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, if
children
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get
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
used to using
Use synonyms
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
instead
Linking Words
of going out, they will lazy to exercise.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they will probably suffer from obesity in future.
Outdoors
Replace the word
Outdoor
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
provide
this
Linking Words
opportunity to
workout
Use the right word
work out
show examples
through playing
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
games.
To sum up
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,
while
Linking Words
it is partly
ture
Correct your spelling
true
that
children
Use synonyms
should learn how to work with
computers
Use synonyms
, I would argue that social
skills
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and
overall
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well-being are more crucial.

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grammar
Work on the spell and make the words clear. Small miss spell hurt the read.
task
Be clear at the start. Say your view and keep to it in all parts.
structure
Start each paragraph with a small sentence that shows its idea, then add a fact or example.
cohesion
Use simple link words to show how ideas go on from one to the next, like first, also, but, so.
examples
Give one or two strong and exact examples to show your point.
intention
The writer shows a clear view and tries to keep to it.
structure
There is a basic flow with a intro, body and end.
content
You use some basic links to move from idea to idea.
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