Many museums charge for admission whiles others are free. Do you think the advantage charging for admission outweigh the disadvantage

Museums
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act as an important place for preserving cultural heritage. Many
museums
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are freely
accesible
Correct your spelling
accessible
while
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some charge admission fees. There are both
,
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apply
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advantages and disadvantages to
this
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trend
which
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, which
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will be discussed in the
below paragraphs
Correct word order
paragraphs below
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, alongwith
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alongwith
Correct your spelling
along with
my opinion in the conclusion.
To begin
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with
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with,
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the pros of admission fees,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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helps
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help
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the authorities in maintaining the cultural heritages. Meaning, the funds raised from the ticket price could be used to
renowate
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renovate
the
museums
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to ensure
good
Correct article usage
a good
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and aesthetic appearance of our precious legacy
which
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, which
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will attract a lot of tourists.
This
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might
in
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, in
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turn
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turn,
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contribute to the country's economy.
Moreover
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, the visitors will
also
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act
responsably
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responsibly
.
For instance
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, a research article published by a psychologist mentions that if people are paying for any service,
than
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then
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they are more tend not to take that service for granted.
Hence
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, the explorers will take extra care of the site and
would
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will
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think twice before damaging the property or rendering it dirty.
However
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, there are some drawbacks to
this
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kind of practice as well.
Firstly
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, the
museums
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are the best place to learn about our rich ancient history. Purchasing the tokens for getting the entry would
hesitate
Verb problem
hinder
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the financially backward class of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society from visiting
such
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places.
Thus
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,
this
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could be a direct act of discrimination towards the population of the nation. From the
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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points, it could be concluded that
Correct article usage
the merites
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merites
Correct your spelling
merits
of demanding
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
entry
fees
Fix the agreement mistake
fee
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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more beneficial compared to the opposite trend
and
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, and
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I would completely be in favour of
this
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kind of service.

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grammar
Check the grammar: fix common mistakes like wrong spell and tense. Shorter, clear sentences work best.
structure
Make a clear plan: first say the task, then give two sides, and end with your view. Use linking words to join ideas.
content
Use small, real examples or data. Do not rely on one unclear study. Give more exact proof.
conclusion
Finish with a strong closing sentence that repeats your view and what you learned.
content
Idea of fee helps keep the museum up and may help economy.
structure
They try to show both sides and give an ending view.
structure
There is a clear plan with introduction, body, and conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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