IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

“Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.”

Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that regular
exercise
Use synonyms
 is the most important factor for maintaining good
health
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that eating a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 is more essential. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 both are necessary, a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 has a stronger long-term impact. On one hand, regular
exercise
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role in improving physical and mental
health
Use synonyms
. Physical activity helps strengthen the heart, reduces the risk of diseases
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes, and supports mental well-being by lowering stress and anxiety levels.
For example
Linking Words
, even simple activities like walking for 20 minutes a day can improve energy levels and
overall
Linking Words
 fitness.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
exercise
Use synonyms
 should be a daily habit.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
diet
Use synonyms
 is more important because the food
people
Use synonyms
 consume directly affects their body’s functioning. A balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 provides essential nutrients that
exercise
Use synonyms
 alone cannot replace. Even if a person exercises often, eating too much fast food or sugar can still lead to obesity, high blood pressure, or other
health
Use synonyms
 problems. Doctors
also
Linking Words
 advise patients to improve their
diet
Use synonyms
 before starting any workout routine, which highlights the importance of healthy eating. In conclusion, both
exercise
Use synonyms
 and
diet
Use synonyms
 are important for maintaining good
health
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 has a greater impact, and the best approach is to combine healthy eating with regular physical activity.

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improvement
Make your view clear in the introduction and keep it in mind in every paragraph.
improvement
Use topic sentences to start each paragraph and add linking words to show how ideas go with each other.
improvement
Use simple words and short sentences to keep easy flow, but mix sentence lengths a bit to help rhythm.
strength
The essay gives a clear view and ends with a strong conclusion.
strength
It shows good development of the two main ideas with simple examples.
strength
The structure fits the task: it discusses both views and gives opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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