IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In order to learn the way other people in the world live,It is better to look at film and video records than writtwn documents.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
Linking Words
 paper, the authors test whether an allosteric
drug
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 with a catalytic-site tyrosine kinase inhibitor (TKI) can control chronic myeloid leukaemia (CML) better than one
drug
Use synonyms
 on its own. To do
this
Linking Words
, ABL001 binds in the myristoyl pocket of BCR-ABL1 and turns the kinase off. Nilotinib sits in the catalytic site. Each
drug
Use synonyms
 misses a different set of BCR-ABL1 mutants, so one
drug
Use synonyms
 alone can still leave a small group of cells that still grow. So in mouse CML xenografts, the two drugs together shrank tumours, and they didn’t grow back after treatment stopped. The ABL001-nilotinib pair left little room for resistance in
this
Linking Words
 setting.

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task
The piece does not answer the given task. It talks about lab work. A good answer must clearly say if you agree or disagree with the idea that film and video help us learn how people live more than writing. Add a clear view and some reasons.
coherence
coherence
language
structure
The text is easy to read and keeps a clear line from idea to result.
content
It uses facts that a reader can see and check.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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