IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show how a beach town called ravensbourne changed from 1999to the present.

The two maps illustrate the modifications that took place in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Ravensbourne
town
Use synonyms
 between 1999 and now.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
town
Use synonyms
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 more modern and better equipped, with the addition of several facilities
such
Linking Words
 as a school, a hotel, a market,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 gas station, and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in housing. In 1999, the
town
Use synonyms
 was
natural
Correct article usage
a natural
show examples
 and undeveloped place with a small residential area and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
farmland in the South.
However
Linking Words
, now,
this
Linking Words
 area has been expanded significantly, with more houses and public services have been introduced
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the Southern side
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as a school, a market, and some shops.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the vineyard has been constructed in the
town
Use synonyms
, replacing an old farmland.
Notable
Replace the word
Notably
show examples
, the orchard has been expanded in the Northeast.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the North forest has been removed to make way for a new hotel and gas station,
nearby
Change preposition
near
show examples
 the beach
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left.
Finally
Linking Words
, the river and the beach remained unchanged,
while
Linking Words
 the roads and
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 station have been developed.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words town with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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