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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, the quality of life in large cities is becoming worse. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could be taken to solve it?

Nowadays, the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
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 in developing countries is becoming worse. From my perspective, the
exceed
Replace the word
excess
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 of busy lifestyles
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the curiosity for materialistic wealth are the most common causes. Definitely, there are a number of valid solutions to tackle these. On the one hand, there are a lot of different causes. It is evident that the
quality
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 of
life
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 in large cities is converting into bad for humanity. One of the core driving factors is that the majority of
people
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 are obsessed with their work. Namely, they do not have extra time for their hobbies, interests, and
also
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 useful exercises.
As a result
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, their
life
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 becoming sedentary lifestyles, and
no
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have no
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 meaning of living.
That is
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,
people
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 believe that they must only work to make a living without any beneficial aspects, but there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 a wide range of things to do,
such
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 as meditation,
variety
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a variety
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 of sports,
reading
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and reading
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 a book. In today’s fast-paced world,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 high number of individuals
pursuit
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pursue
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of
Change preposition
apply
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material things. Most
people
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 are willing to determine social position overwhelmingly.
Consequently
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, these factors lead to a lack of
tranquility
Change the spelling
tranquillity
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 and
low
Correct article usage
a low
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quality
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 of
life
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. Afterwards, these problems contribute to both physical and spiritual senses.
On the other hand
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, there are a number of implementations for these issues to solve.
Firstly
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,
people
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 should pay attention
what
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to what
show examples
 is important. To be precise, they separate adverse things from their
life
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, which affect their mindset.
Furthermore
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, the government and educational institutions
also
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 play a crucial role in increasing the
quality
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 of
life
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.
In addition
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, they should make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
useful lessons or seminars for communities to enhance the meaning of
life
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. In conclusion, I believe that the love for possessions and extremely busy lifestyles are the main ramifications in many countries.
However
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, being aware of the drawbacks of these problems can be
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 solution for
people
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 in the long run.

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organization
Plan before you write. List 2–3 main ideas for causes and 2–3 ideas for solutions, then write about them in order.
organization
Keep each paragraph to one main idea. Start with a clear topic sentence and add a few related details.
grammar
Use short, clear sentences. Check grammar and avoid long copies that can lead to mistakes.
vocabulary
Give a real example or fact to show your point. This makes your answer stronger.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit. Examples: first, also, because, so, but, finally.
content
The essay tries to cover both causes and fixes, which fits the task.
coherence
There are some links that show the order of ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Overpopulation
  • Infrastructure
  • Pollution
  • Housing shortages
  • Rental and property prices
  • Traffic congestion
  • Public transportation
  • Deforestation
  • Urban sprawl
  • Mental health
  • Economic disparity
  • Waste management
  • Environmental impact
  • Public health
  • Recreational areas
  • Wealth gap
  • Cost of living
  • Lifestyle
  • Stress
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