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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Happiness of parents with children of different ages

The pie charts compare
parents
Use synonyms
' happiness percentage based on the age of their
children
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
parents
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 with teenagers were less happy than
parents
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 with very young
children
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.
However
Linking Words
, a few of them were very unhappy. As the pie charts show,
parents
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 with very young
children
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 were the largest proportion , fairly happy with 50 per
cent
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 to compare with teenage
children
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 fairly happy more than very young
children
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 , with 61 per
cent
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
parents
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 feel very happy with 47%.In comparison with teenage
children
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fewer
Punctuation problem
, fewer
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than
Change preposition
apply
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young kids are 35 per
cent
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. Turning to the unhappy category
while
Linking Words
 the youth and adolescents were similar to each other , with 3 per
cent
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 and 4 per
cent
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 feeling unhappy with their
parents
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.

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task
Answer all parts of the task. Say what the charts show for each age group and compare them clearly.
coherence
Put ideas in a clear order. Use one idea per part or paragraph. Use linking words like 'first', 'then', 'also', 'but', 'in conclusion'.
language
Use easy language. Check big grammar and make sure spaces after periods are right.
data
Check the numbers. Use percent for each group and keep the same idea as the chart. Do not mix up data.
content
The essay uses data from the charts.
structure
There is an intro line and a closing idea about the unhappy group.
coherence
Some links or connectors are used to show contrast and comparison.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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