Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes and entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes, other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that effect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion:

It is believed by a group of people that permitting youngsters to make

decisions

Use synonyms

in their daily lives can develop a sense of selfishness in society.

In contrast

Linking Words

, others argue that

children

Use synonyms

should be allowed to make their own choices. I believe that

children

Use synonyms

should be allowed to make their own

decisions

Use synonyms

, but

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

should be monitored by guardians constantly. Both views and my argument are discussed

further

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay. On one hand, there are many reasons why others think that independence in making

decisions

Use synonyms

will lead to a selfish future generation.

To begin

Linking Words

with, they opine that toddlers will not think of any other person. From childhood, they will learn to think about themselves only. A child can be spoiled,

for instance

Linking Words

, they will not give respect to older people, or will not obey rules and regulations in future.

Linking Words

moreover

Fix capitalization

Moreover

show examples

, sometimes obeying commands is

also

Linking Words

necessary to shape

children

Use synonyms

's personality in a good way.

By following

Change preposition

Following

show examples

orders from the elderly makes a person kind and

gentleman

Replace the word

gentlemanly

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, those who are in favour of

independence

Correct article usage

the independence

show examples

of choice

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

Use synonyms

give their reasons as follows. The first reason is that they can learn decision-making skills from childhood.

Which

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

could be a useful trait for their career development.

Also

Linking Words

, they can learn to deal with confusion.

Secondly

Linking Words

, selecting their topic of interest allows

children

Use synonyms

to grow.

Hence

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

can be successful

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

if they are allowed to do whatever they want.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I would reiterate my belief that

while

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

should be allowed to make

decisions

Use synonyms

like what to wear and eat, they should be monitored by their guardians.

Which

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

is not only good for a child's personal development, but

also

Linking Words

for society.

darshitasoni98

Nov 30, 2025

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task

Explain more what you think and why. Give more detail and a strong final view.

coherence

Some ideas are not well linked. Use more linking words to join parts.

coherence

Make sure each paragraph has a main idea. Start with one idea in each paragraph.

examples

Use better examples. Explain how the choice helps or hurts people.

grammar

Check grammar and capital marks after full stops; fix errors like 'Which' after a period.

strength

Clear view of both sides.

strength

Easy to read, simple words.

strength

Good use of 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand'.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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