Some people who have been successful in society do not attribute their success to the theoretical knowledge they learn at university. What is your opinion on the factors contributing to one’s achievement?

In contemporary society, achievements are frequently linked to higher education, notably university-level studies.

Although

Linking Words

academic knowledge can be useful, many highly successful individuals argue that their achievements are not solely the result of what they

leaned

Use the right word

learned

show examples

in lecture halls. I strongly believe that other factors

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

as practical experience, personal qualities and social

networks

Punctuation problem

networks,

show examples

contribute far more significantly to long-term success.

To begin

Linking Words

with, real-world experience helps people develop essential professional skills that theory cannot alone provide. By

gracing

Verb problem

facing

show examples

actual challenges at work, people learn how to communicate effectively, manage time, and solve problems under pressure.

For instance

Linking Words

, many entrepreneurs gain expertise by experimenting, taking risks, and learning from failure, which ultimately enables them to thrive in competitive industries.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, personal attributes greatly influence one’s ability to achieve success. Determination, creativity, and adaptability empower adults to persevere despite difficulties and seize opportunities confidently. These qualities cannot be fully taught

Change preposition

show examples

colleges

Fix the agreement mistake

college

show examples

; rather, they are cultivated through life experiences.

Additionally

Linking Words

, strong interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence are increasingly valued in workplaces, helping people lead teams and build strong professional relationships. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

university learning provides a solid theoretical foundation, achievement in life largely depends on practical abilities, character strengths, and meaningful connections.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a balance between education and real-world development is essential for everyone who

wish

Correct subject-verb agreement

wishes

show examples

to reach their full potential.

rushabhpatel78694

Dec 1, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your ideas are clear and you show a good line of view. To push your score up, add one more strong idea or example and make each paragraph meet one main idea.

coherence cohesion

Link and flow are good with join words. Try shorter sentences and topic sentences that show each para's main idea; fix small grammar errors.

Clear view and steady structure (intro, body, conclusion).

content

Use of examples about real life (entrepreneurs) to back points.

cohesion

Good use of sign words like To begin with, Furthermore, In conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

221 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The debate over whether girls and boys should be taught in separate or common buildings is ongoing. Some argue that there should be some kind of differentiation, while others believe it is better for children to learn together from a young age. This essay will discuss both arguments and present my personal view at the end.
7.5
band
Thanks to mass production.People in many countries can purchase goods in cheaper prices then before.Are there more benefits than problems in this situation?
Since the Industrial Revolution, factories have gained the ability to manufacture large quantities of goods efficiently, leading to significantly lower prices for many products. This has sparked a debate about whether mass production is ultimately beneficial or harmful to society. From my perspective, the advantages of mass production outweigh its disadvantages, as will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
8
band
Some people think that the main purposes of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed by some people that education will be beneficial for the children's personal future, such as being good citizens or workers, apart from benefiting themselves as individuals. From my perspective, I totally agree that education is the stepping stone for individuals to smarten themselves which in turn will make them good citizens and labourers.
6.5
band
In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?
The home we choose to move in, would carry the sense of belonging which can be made by various factors in a space such as knowing stories about people who lived in or how the building was built and so on. In some regions all around the world, there are inhabitants keen on searching for this kind of information. In this essay, I will explain some reasons behind it and how we can find related resources.
6
band
Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.
Happiness is the ultimate goal of everyone in life. Some think that this can be achieved through accumulating money, as it would provide for their basic needs. In this essay, I will give reasons to prove that other than money, good health and healthy relationships are the primary factors that contribute to one's happiness.

Some people who have been successful in society do not attribute their success to the theoretical knowledge they learn at university. What is your opinion on the factors contributing to one’s achievement?

Thanks to mass production.People in many countries can purchase goods in cheaper prices then before.Are there more benefits than problems in this situation?

Some people think that the main purposes of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?

Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.