IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people in cities around the world suffer from high levels of air pollution. What are the causes of this problem, and what can be done to solve it?

Air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 is one of the
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
pollution
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that is
Linking Words
 detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it has significantly increased in major cities around the world.
This
Linking Words
 environmental hazard has several reasons
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
increased
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of private
vehicles
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 and deforestation;
however
Linking Words
, it can be resolved by solutions which will
discussed
Verb problem
be discussed
show examples
further
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay. One of the major reasons for rising
air
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pollution
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 is
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
number
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 of private
vehicles
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 owned by people. These
vehicles
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 emit carbon
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can
deteroriate
Correct your spelling
deteriorate
air
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 quality,making it more polluted.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if the
number
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 of cars on the road increases , it will inevitably cause
air
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polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the deforestation caused by humans is another cause of
air
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pollution
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. A large proportion of
trees
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 have been cut down over the
last
Linking Words
 few decades because humans want more space for expanding their commercial business projects.
This
Linking Words
 decline in
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number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
trees
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 resulted in the reduction of oxygen delivered by
trees
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, which helps in
purification
Correct article usage
the purification
show examples
 of
air
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the issue can be tackled by human efforts through
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of public transport
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and plantation of
trees
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. If humans avoid using their private car and commute by public transport, the carbon emission caused by all the
vehicles
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 collectively will reduce
singificantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 step will help
in improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 the
air
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 quality.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, planting more
trees
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 will create more oxygen in the
enivornment
Correct your spelling
environment
,which will again contribute to the
ehancement
Correct your spelling
enhancement
of the
air
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 quality. In
conlcusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, there has been a considerable growth in the level of
air
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pollution
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 around the world
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 in big cities
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
show examples
 to reasons like
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
show examples
 in the
figure
Check wording
number
show examples
 of private
vehicles
Use synonyms
 and deforestation.
However
Linking Words
,
approriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
measures
such
Linking Words
 as using public transport and increasing
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
trees
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 can help in addressing
this
Linking Words
 issue.

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grammar
Fix spellings and small grammar errors (for example, pollution, deteriorate, environment, conclusion). Use correct forms and punctuation.
structure
Plan with four parts: a short intro, two body parts, and a short ending. Use clear topic sentences and simple linking words like and, but, also, however.
content
Add clear and simple examples. A small fact or number can show the point.
lexis
Use simple and exact words. Avoid long phrases that may confuse the reader.
content
Clear idea about causes and a plan for solutions.
coherence
Good use of linking words such as however and in addition.
structure
A closing sentence that sums up the idea.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • air
  • pollution
  • city
  • people
  • car
  • bus
  • train
  • walk
  • bike
  • fuel
  • smoke
  • gas
  • coal
  • oil
  • factory
  • plant
  • dust
  • wind
  • sun
  • rain
  • health
  • cause
  • plan
  • rule
  • tax
  • cost
  • save
  • energy
  • clean
  • dirty
  • reduce
  • limit
  • change
  • use
  • money
  • time
  • tree
  • park
  • road
  • traffic
  • public
  • transport
  • electric
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