IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people argue that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree with it and reckon that nowadays it is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is believed that
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
 degree leads to success in the future because of the
theorectical knowlegde
Correct your spelling
theoretical knowledge
 they give. I agree with others
beleiving
Correct your spelling
believing
 success
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 are not determined by grades
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
 and practical
knowledge
Use synonyms
 are given more priority. In
this
Linking Words
 competitive era, it is different from how it
is
Verb problem
apply
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used
to
Verb problem
to be to
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 determine
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
. People used to think good grade leads to a good job and a handsome salary.
However
Linking Words
, it has changed recently because most
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 hire employees having enough
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 and
skills
Use synonyms
. They
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 in practical
knowledge
Use synonyms
 as
experienced
Correct article usage
an experienced
show examples
 worker
wont
Correct your spelling
won't
 need any guidance to do certain activities.
For example
Linking Words
, in an IT background, if a person
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
skills
Use synonyms
 in coding, they are hired immediately by judging through their skill, though they are not related to
technological
Correct article usage
the technological
show examples
 field.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think higher
education
Use synonyms
 results better career line. It is because some
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
need
Verb problem
require
show examples
 an assurance of passing
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
. They
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
in
Change preposition
that
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 learned in
university
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
 theoretical
knowledge
Use synonyms
.
Occupation
Correct article usage
An occupation
show examples
 like being
professor
Correct article usage
a professor
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
need
Verb problem
requires
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 degree
Use synonyms
education
Change preposition
of education
show examples
 because it makes
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
easy
Correct word choice
easier
show examples
 to pass
theorectical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
knowledge
Use synonyms
 to
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
. Despite
this
Linking Words
,
along with
Linking Words
 the degree,
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
 search for the experienced professor, which says both are equally important.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree that having high grades alone is
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 only way to have
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 job and a life. In conclusion, it is argued that
knowledge
Use synonyms
got
Verb problem
gained
show examples
 from
university
Use synonyms
 is a way of
successing
Correct your spelling
succeeding
life
Change preposition
in life
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 agree
other
Correct word choice
that other
show examples
 valuable
skills
Use synonyms
 and practical
knowledge
Use synonyms
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
 more work opportunities in top companies and lead a
well settled
Use the right word
well-settled
show examples
 career.

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grammar
Improve grammar and sentence form. Use proper capitalization and fix misspelled words.
structure
Have a clear intro that states the topic and your view. Then write 2 or 3 body parts each with a topic sentence. End with a short conclusion.
development
Give more real examples and show how degrees and skills both help. Link points to the question.
content
The essay tries to discuss both views.
argument
The writer states their own view in the end.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential knowledge
  • fosters critical thinking
  • employment prospects
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • practical experience
  • entrepreneurs
  • formal higher education
  • determination
  • creativity
  • thrive without
  • sole path
  • increasingly defined by
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