In some societies, sports and entertainment figures are more valued than professionals such as doctors and teachers. Why is this the case, and do you consider it a positive or negative trend?

In some countries, people appreciate
celebrties
Correct your spelling
celebrities
like actors, famous football players, and social media bloggers way more than productive hard
working
Verb problem
hard-working
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individals
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individuals
like health care providers and teachers
,
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.
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
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think
this
Linking Words
is because
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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see them as a source of fun, but
i
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I
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belive
Use the right word
believe
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that
this
Linking Words
has a negative impact on our society. Life has alot of stress, difficulties and sometimes sad news, and that make people tend to search for relief, something enjoyable, that gave these figures value and importance, and a result they make more money more than a lot of other prefessions,
for example
Linking Words
i read in a magazine that one of the most popular soccer player in our country named Salem aldossary get triple the salary of a consultant. I am convinced that
this
Linking Words
trend
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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to more harm than good
,
Punctuation problem
. Nowadays
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nowadays
Punctuation problem
nowadays,
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young people are less passionate and don't feel
intersted
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interested
in
pursue
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pursuing
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eduation
Correct your spelling
education
as they know that they make more money through easier approaches. Officials should pay more attention to
this
Linking Words
issue as it may
affects
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affect
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our community in a negative way. In
summery
Use the right word
summary
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,
although
Linking Words
renowned persons in entertainment are important, we should respect and value more
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
.

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structure
Split your essay into clear parts: a short intro, 2 body paragraphs, and a short ending. Put one main idea in each part.
content
Give more strong reasons and more real facts. Explain how each idea leads to the problem.
language
Fix spelling and grammar. Watch words like 'celebrties', 'prefessions', 'summery'and 'aldossary'.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas fit together, such as 'First', 'Then', 'For example', 'Also'.
content
You state a clear view that celebs are valued too much and link this to money and work.
content
You give a real example about salary to back your point.
coherence
You mention the effect on young people and study, which shows cause and effect.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • value
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • teachers
  • sports
  • entertainment
  • figures
  • income
  • money
  • media
  • coverage
  • important
  • children
  • young people
  • success
  • fame
  • careers
  • traditional
  • jobs
  • appealing
  • idolize
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