IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learninh and taking responsibilities. What are your opinions on this?

In many
countries
Add a comma
countries,
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 children are engaged in some kind of paid
work
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they are some people regard
this
Linking Words
 as completely wrong. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
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this
Linking Words
 can not be important for learning and taking responsibility because they
still
Verb problem
are still
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 a child and need a healthy and
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
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 life for steady and stable growth
,
Punctuation problem
. Secondly
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Linking Words
secondly
Punctuation problem
secondly,
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 their is a age rules and
also
Linking Words
 can make the child endure stress
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 that's a first
rison
Check wording
reason that
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them go to
drogrs
Correct your spelling
drugs
 and risk and drop out and many
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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 hazards and
drawb
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not
least
Punctuation problem
least,
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 we can let them
work
Use synonyms
 but in safety and
also
Linking Words
 in
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 way
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 agree that paid
work
Use synonyms
 by children should be allowed under strict rules and
withe
Use the right word
with
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 education kept as the main goal
To sum
Linking Words
up
Add a comma
up,
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 for positive
Use synonyms
work
Punctuation problem
work,
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 we should
Strict
Verb problem
have Strict
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 supervision
for
Change preposition
of
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 the way they treat them
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
work
Use synonyms

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task response
Plan with a clear start and end. State your view in the first paragraph and restate it in the last.
coherence
Use one main idea per paragraph. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar. Use simple and correct words.
task achievement
Give a real reason or example for each point and link it to your main view.
writing mechanics
Check punctuation and make sentences shorter for ease.
content
The writer shows care for the topic and discusses safety and rules.
language
Simple, easy words are used to share ideas.
structure
There is an attempt to present both sides of the argument.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • child
  • work
  • pay
  • money
  • time
  • school
  • learn
  • skill
  • responsibility
  • safe
  • danger
  • health
  • family
  • hours
  • limit
  • law
  • rule
  • right
  • protect
  • balance
  • benefit
  • risk
  • policy
  • decision
  • parents
  • teacher
  • job
  • experience
  • choice
  • support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: