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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart shows the number of cars per 1000 people in 5 European countries in 3 years and compares with the European average.

The bar chart compares car ownership per 1000
people
Use synonyms
 in five different European countries in 2005, 2009 and 2015 and
also
Linking Words
 provides the
overall
Linking Words
 average for these nations.
Overall
Linking Words
, all five countries experienced an increase in the number of
cars
Use synonyms
 per 1000 inhabitants over the period.
Country
Use synonyms
 5 consistently recorded the highest levels of car ownership,
Linking Words
While
Fix capitalization
while
show examples
Country
Use synonyms
 1 remained the lowest in all 3 years. In 2005,
Country
Use synonyms
 1 had roughly 300
cars
Use synonyms
 for 1000 individuals.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
Country
Use synonyms
 5 reported about 900, which was significantly
a lot
Correct word choice
more
show examples
for
Change preposition
than
show examples
 1000
people
Use synonyms
.
Country
Use synonyms
 3 and
Country4
Correct your spelling
Country 4
 represented almost the same results, approximately 700 respectively,
Whilst
Fix capitalization
whilst
show examples
Country
Use synonyms
 2 stood at 500 By 2009, modest growth was seen in all countries, with
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 of around 50–100
cars
Use synonyms
 per 1000
people
Use synonyms
. The most noticeable changes occurred in 2015.
Country
Use synonyms
 5 surpassed nearly 1000
cars
Use synonyms
 for 1000
people
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Country
Use synonyms
 3 and
Country
Use synonyms
 4 rose to
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
 of 700-800 range. Country2
also
Linking Words
 grew gradually, approaching 600.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Country1 still stood at the same amount

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, cars, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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