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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart shows the number of cars per 1000 people in 5 European countries in 3 years and compares with the European average.

The presented graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 owned per 1,000
communities
Check wording
people
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 in five European countries, including
Country
Use synonyms
 1,2,3,4,5
between
Punctuation problem
, between
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 2005 and 2015, and
also
Linking Words
 compares these figures with the
overall
Linking Words
 European average.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were a
number
Use synonyms
 of remarkable changes over the 10-year period.
It is clear that
Linking Words
Country
Use synonyms
 5 consistently had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 per 1,000 people,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
country
Fix capitalization
Country
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 1 recorded the lowest statistics throughout the three years. Observing the charts in detail, by 2005, the lowest level of car ownership was in
Country
Use synonyms
 1, with around 300
cars
Use synonyms
.
Country
Use synonyms
 2 showed 500
cars
Use synonyms
 per 1,000
humans
Check wording
people
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. Surprisingly, the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of
cars
Use synonyms
 stood at the same level in both
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 3 and 4, representing approximately 700
cars
Use synonyms
 relatively. As previously stated,
Country
Use synonyms
 5 saw a dramatic rise, reaching around 900
cars
Use synonyms
. In 2009,
Country
Use synonyms
 1 displayed
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
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 400
cars
Use synonyms
 per 1,000 individuals.
Then
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Country
Fix the agreement mistake
Countries
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 2 and 3 rose sharply to 580 and 600
cars
Use synonyms
 respectively. The quantity of
cars
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 depicted
700
Verb problem
is 700
show examples
Use synonyms
cars
Check wording
apply
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in
country
Use synonyms
 4.
However
Linking Words
, car statistics were lower than
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other years in
country
Use synonyms
 5. Turning to 2015, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 had the lowest value as always, constituting 300. But it ascended dramatically in
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 2 and 3, accounting for 550 and 590
Punctuation problem
, comparatively
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comparatively
Rephrase
respectively
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.
Country
Use synonyms
 4 indicated 700
cars
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. Unexpectedly, car figures witnessed a significant increase in
country
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 5, peaking at 990
cars
Use synonyms
 per 1,000 people. Regarding the average of 5, it rose steadily from about 700 in 2005 to approximately 770 in 2015

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cars, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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