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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people advocate to have a shorter working week
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as adjusting working
days
Use synonyms
 from five
days
Use synonyms
 to four
days
Use synonyms
 per week. Meanwhile, employees can enjoy a longer break from
work
Use synonyms
. Personally, I disagree with
this
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 proposal
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the reasons are demonstrated below. In many countries
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 in Europe, it is not unusual to have long annual vacation
days
Use synonyms
, which
varies
Correct subject-verb agreement
vary
show examples
 from 25 to 40.
Together with
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 public holidays, it provides individuals
adequate
Change preposition
with adequate
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 time to get rest and get back to
work
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, it has become more common for employers to offer hybrid working mode or completely remote nowadays, which
eables
Correct your spelling
enables
 employees to spend less time
in
Change preposition
apply
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commuting,
as well as
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 working in a more relaxing
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Therefore
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, implementing shorter weekdays might negatively influence the amount of
work
Use synonyms
 people
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 achieve.
Furthermore
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, some staff have already felt
Mondays
Correct word choice
that Mondays
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 are not as productive as expected
due to
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 the two-day break. Extending the weekends is highly likely to increase
this
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 fatigue when they return to
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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, and makes it harder to
concertrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
.
Besides
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, it is a social norm to have a two-day weekend, and the change of working duration might cause
confusions
Fix the agreement mistake
confusion
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 and challenges among companies that
collabrate
Correct your spelling
collaborate
 together.
For instance
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, if a company started to experiment
a
Change preposition
with a
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four-working-
Correct word choice
four-day
show examples
days
Use synonyms
policy
Check wording
work week
show examples
, its suppliers and customers would need to adjust their working pace
accordingly
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, which might delay the projects and impact their business.
To conclude
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, reducing working
days
Use synonyms
 is a bold yet challenging proposal. On the one hand, the amount of finished
work
Use synonyms
 might be reduced.
On the other hand
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, people could experience difficulties when they return from the long weekend.
Moreover
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, it makes the joint collaborations among various companies harder to manage.

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grammar
Fix spell and word choice. Check words like enables, environment, concentrate, collabora te.
structure
Make each paragraph start with a clear idea sentence. Use a topic sentence in intro and each body.
content
Give stronger and more specific examples to back each idea. Try numbers or exact facts where possible.
style
Keep lines short. Use simple and clear sentences. Avoid long, run and catch phrases.
task
Clear position that you disagree with the idea.
coherence
Use of linking words helps flow.
structure
Paragraphs show a plan and support the view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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