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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the rpices of three metals during 2014. Sumamarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph below illustrates the change in the
prices
Use synonyms
 of three metals during
2014
Punctuation problem
2014,
show examples
 every month. All in all, the
Nickel’s
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 changed more roughly compared to the
Copper’s
Use synonyms
 and
Zinc’s
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
.
Zinc’s
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 slightly increased and decreased in some periods of time.
Copper’s
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 remained almost the same
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
 the end of the year. In January,
Nickel’s
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 roughly
Use synonyms
fall
Replace the word
fell
show examples
 from 6 to 1
Use synonyms
percents
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
Zinc’s
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 increased from 1 to 3
Use synonyms
percents
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
, and
Copper’s
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 remained
almos
Correct your spelling
almost
 the same
.
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 have
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 insignificant
fall
Use synonyms
 from 2 to 1
Use synonyms
percents
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
.
Nickel’s
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 continued to
fall
Use synonyms
 from the start of the year to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
June, only remaining the same from March to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
April.
Zinc’s
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 continued to
fall
Use synonyms
 until
June
Punctuation problem
June,
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 has a bit increase from January to February.
Copper’s
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 fell from 2 to almost negative one
Use synonyms
percents
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
.
To
Change preposition
By
show examples
 the end of the year,
Nickel’s
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 fell from 6 to 1
Use synonyms
percents
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
Copper’s
Use synonyms
 and
Zinc’s
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 remained almost unchanged
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 their
prices
Use synonyms
 had a bit changes compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Nickel’s
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words prices, nickel’s, price, copper’s, zinc’s, fall, percents with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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