IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the rpices of three metals during 2014. Sumamarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The
graph
Use synonyms
 shows us the
three
Use synonyms
metals
Use synonyms
 and how they
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 during 2014. We can see
three
Use synonyms
metals
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it’s
Copper
Use synonyms
,
Nickel
Use synonyms
 and Zinc.
Nickel
Use synonyms
 had
rize up
Verb problem
risen
show examples
 and
go down
Verb problem
fallen
show examples
 during
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
often
Punctuation problem
, often
show examples
 more than other
metals
Use synonyms
. I think
Nickel
Use synonyms
 is not
stabilize
Replace the word
stable
show examples
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
this
Linking Words
 metal suddenly
rize
Correct your spelling
rises
 to the peak or
foll
Correct your spelling
falls
 to the down,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 mean he is dropped.
Three
Use synonyms
metals
Use synonyms
 have many
differents
Use the right word
differences
show examples
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 each other in many aspects. They
different
Verb problem
are different
show examples
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 their ingredients are
Use synonyms
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
, they have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 mean
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
the
Use the right word
they
show examples
 don’t have
similliar
Correct your spelling
similar
 forms and
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
.
Nickel
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
significont
Correct your spelling
significant
difference
Use synonyms
 more than other
metals
Use synonyms
.
Nickel
Use synonyms
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
show examples
 the special,
specifical
Replace the word
specific
show examples
 ingredients itself. And we still have
Copper
Use synonyms
.
Copper
Use synonyms
’s
graph
Use synonyms
its
Use the right word
is
show examples
 most calm
graph
Use synonyms
 near the other
metals
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, i
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 guess.
Copper
Use synonyms
don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
show examples
 have the sudden
difference
Use synonyms
 in his
graph
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 he still
stay
Correct subject-verb agreement
stays
show examples
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 mean
he
Punctuation problem
, he
show examples
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to stay in one place during
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
. We see that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Nickel
Use synonyms
 is not
calm
Correct article usage
a calm
show examples
 metal,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 mean his famous or
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
 or
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
show examples
downin
Correct your spelling
down
any
Change preposition
at any
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, but at the same
Use synonyms
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
copper
Use synonyms
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to stay in one place
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zinc
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 look
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
 in
this
Linking Words
 place. They have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
metals
Use synonyms
, and with
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 they are relevant.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, three, metals, copper, nickel, time, difference with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: