Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Innovation requires a numerous of experiments. The subject of whether governments or the private
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
should conduct the research has been widely
argued
Verb problem
debated
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. I am of the opinion that major and life-threatening ones have to be carried out by officials,
while
Linking Words
private organisations can
also
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make
contribution
Correct article usage
a contribution
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as innovation is often driven by them. First and foremost, the oversight of
government
Use synonyms
is pivotal in some cases. The experiments related to bio-engineering, nuclear warships, surveillance systems and many others are cases in point, as failing to do so will result in irreversible damage. As many companies out there that are able to use these findings in a negative way. Imagine that a company which found the nuclear technology that can take thousands of lives within a
second,
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allowing it to threaten
other
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others
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to get profits from them. Take
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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the case of NASA, which is a
government
Use synonyms
-oriented corporation
that is
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concentrated on establishing spacecrafts and rockets. As many detrimental consequences can be caused by cosmic exploration,
such
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as contracting with extraterrestrial creatures that can be
threat
Correct article usage
a threat
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to our living on the planet, having control over the
government
Use synonyms
is the best way to ensure security.
On the other hand
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, most of the time innovations came from independent organisations. Having a large number of
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
and investments provides them more chances to achieve success
in
Change preposition
apply
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compared to governments
due to
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the fact that organisations heavily donate all resources to them.
However
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,
government
Use synonyms
revenue should be allocated to various sectors, namely education, housing, construction,
healthcare
Correct word choice
and healthcare
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because
Punctuation problem
, because
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the
nation
Check wording
nation's
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development and well-being depend on them.
Moreover
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, companies within the same sector are always in competition, so the quickest outcome is essential in order to
outrace
Verb problem
outdo
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others.
This
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is to say that
this
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tendency assists them
to reach
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in reaching
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the targeted results as soon as possible.
SpaceX
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SpaceX,
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created by Elon
Musk
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Musk,
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invest in huge financial incentives
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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unrealistic to be done by authorities. In conclusion,
while
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government
Use synonyms
oversight is instrumental,
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
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the private
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the development is undeniable
due to
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high funding and
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
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nature. Careful monitoring and consideration are needed to maximise benefits,
while
Linking Words
minimising harm.

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task
Make your view clearer from the start and end. Pick one main idea and keep to it. Use more example to back up your point.
coherence
Make links between ideas simpler. Use and, but, also, so to move smoothly.
content
The essay shows a real effort to discuss both sides.
content
It uses some real examples like SpaceX.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • carried out
  • controlled
  • governments
  • private companies
  • unbiased
  • prioritize
  • profit
  • public interest
  • allocate resources
  • lucrative
  • collaboration
  • information sharing
  • confidential
  • competitive advantage
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