IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Advertisements have harmful effects on the society. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, we are bombarded with a torrent of advertisements wherever we go.
While
Linking Words
 some opine
advertising
Correct word choice
that advertising
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 makes a significant contribution to guiding society in the wrong way, in my view, underestimating the importance of
such
Linking Words
 a strategy in community education is not logical. On the one hand, some factories use tricky slogans.
In other words
Linking Words
. Information is often misinformation, since many
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
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 making money over meaningful work.
As a result
Linking Words
, they just want to earn money without considering any moral issues.
For example
Linking Words
, some businesses often exploit sexy women and well-known celebrities to sell their products, which may result in overconsumption among citizens.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, raising public awareness by becoming heard through mass media is a must for marketing. To clarify, Apple annually holds a convention,
taking about
Verb problem
discussing
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 different features of their products, which plays a crucial role in absorbing customers, since they can make intelligent choices.
This
Linking Words
 is because Apple is one of the most
technological
Replace the word
technologically
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companies
Correct word choice
advanced companies
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 all over the world.
Moreover
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, it can create a competitive environment in the modern era. It is worth mentioning that Benz and BMW it has been more than 20 years that they have been in a great competition with each other, resulting in
producing
Replace the word
the production of
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 more reasonable vehicles for both. In conclusion,
although
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 many factories use fake and flashy slogans to persuade people to buy more than they need, I strongly believe the fact that advertisements are an inseparable part of modern life is obvious to all.

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planning
Plan before you write. Start with a clear view on ads and say it in the first line or two.
structure
Each paragraph has one main idea. Start with a topic sentence.
coherence
Use linking words to move from one idea to the next. Keep sentences short and clear.
content
Give real examples and explain how they show harm or good.
language
Use simple words and correct grammar. Check for errors.
content
The essay shows a real attempt to discuss both sides.
examples
There are some clear examples mentioned (Apple, cars).
structure
Conclusion restates the view.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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