IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The rise of convenience food has helped people keep up with the speed of modern lifestyle. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Nowadays, there is a rising trend
Change preposition
in when
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when
Correct word choice
which
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 people consume
convenience
Use synonyms
food
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 more than homemade
food
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, in order to save
time
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 for an active lifestyle. Even though the tendency seems rather positive, there
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
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 a few disadvantages that can have a dramatic influence on society. And I intend to give a brief outline of the main arguments. Some individuals try to
minimize
Change the spelling
minimise
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 the amount of
time
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 they cook, so they can allocate more
time
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 to personal activities.
For example
Linking Words
, there is an extremely popular cafe called Halya Baluvana in Ukraine, which produces a variety of ready meals. The concept was widely appreciated by representatives of
Use synonyms
time-saving
Correct article usage
the time-saving
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 group.
In addition
Linking Words
, the cafe has recently introduced microwaves, enabling consumers to spend even more
time
Use synonyms
 working or doing home chores. In the not-too-distant future, there is a realm of possibility that many nations may completely shift to ready-made
food
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 because of the increasing demand for
convenience
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. Despite these benefits, it is important to acknowledge the downsides.
Hardy
Use the right word
Hardly
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 a week goes by without a new report of
hospitalized
Change the spelling
hospitalised
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 adults
due to
Linking Words
 severe
food
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 poisoning. Perhaps not surprising that some companies
specialized
Change the spelling
specialised
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 in
convenience
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 production may overlook essential hygiene regulations, which can potentially lead to fatal consequences. Plus, the plastic used for
food
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 packaging is critically harmful for humans, especially if it
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 heated. All things considered, the upward trend of pre-prepared
food
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 is more detrimental than it may seem. I strongly believe that people should
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
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 their health over
convenience
Use synonyms
.

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Task response
State your view clearly at the start and end. Show a balanced view with both good and bad points, then say if one side wins.
Grammar
Use simple, straight grammar. Fix errors like 'Hardy a week' and make phrases easy to read.
Content
Add more real facts or common ideas to back up points. One cafe example is not enough.
Coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in order. Use linking words like first, next, also, and finally to help the flow.
stance
You take a clear view on the issue and end with a firm sentence.
content
You give both sides and some real life example to explain.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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