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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

‏Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free times. This can benefit teenagers and benefit the community as well. ‏To what extend do you agree or disagree.

In recent years, the issue of
teenagers
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teenagers'
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work
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 has caused a
lot
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 of debate. Some people argue that
,
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apply
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 teenagers should be required to do unpaid community
work
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 in their free
time
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,
while
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 others believe that it's absolutely useless and you should allocate your
time
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 to more purposeful
endeavors
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endeavours
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. The following paragraphs will consider
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 and disadvantages of
this
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 topic. The most compelling argument in favour of
this
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 is that
,
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apply
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work
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 is an inherent thing in our world. It is imprinted in our DNA. Actually, when I would like to understand something profoundly, I look
in
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at
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 our nature.
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Moreover
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Moreover,
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 I consider all ancestors' behaviour. The
work
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 contributed fundamentally to the transformation of humans from their primitive state. The reason was
,
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apply
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 that if you start acting, your brain will be boosted.
Therefore
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,
basically
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basically,
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 it is an awesome idea to attract
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation for community
work
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.
In addition
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, team-building activities can help develop teamwork and communication skills.
For instance
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, team-building can give a
lot
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 of opportunities,
such
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 as
:
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apply
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time
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-management, discipline
and
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, and
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 you can learn
,
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apply
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 how you can rate your result.
On the other hand
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, the major disadvantage is that
,
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apply
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 students can not be able to
work
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, because they do not have free
time
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. We are witnessing
,
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apply
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 that
government
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the government
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 and especially
school
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the school
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 give a
lot
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 of pressure. They give quite a
lot
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 of homework, which limits someone’s scope for self-expression.
Therefore
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, if someone wants to encourage or attract do something for free, they must solve
this
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 issue.
However
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, it is a different question. Simply stated, people do not have free
time
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 to care about
specifically
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a specific
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 subject, because it will overcomplicate their lifestyle. In conclusion,
while
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 involving teenagers in unpaid community
work
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 can undeniably foster valuable life skills and encourage personal growth, it
also
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 raises serious concerns regarding their already heavy workload and limited free
time
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. Ultimately, the effectiveness of
such
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 initiatives depends on striking a balance between promoting meaningful engagement and respecting students’ academic responsibilities and well-being.
Therefore
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, rather than imposing mandatory participation, it might be more beneficial to create flexible opportunities that allow young people to contribute voluntarily, without placing additional pressure on their daily lives.

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content
Expand on your ideas with clear reasons and real examples to show how unpaid work helps teens and the community.
structure
Write in more simple sentences. Use topic sentences at the start of each paragraph.
coherence
Link ideas with better transitions, for example 'However', 'Moreover', 'As a result' to show flow.
overall
You give a balanced view and finish with a clear stance.
structure
Introduction shows the topic and intention.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • volunteering
  • unpaid community work
  • life skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • empathy
  • resume
  • job applications
  • university applications
  • responsibility
  • conscientious citizens
  • societal issues
  • social awareness
  • mandatory
  • resentment
  • motivation
  • financially struggling families
  • feasible
  • genuine interest
  • willingness
  • obligation
  • effective
  • meaningful
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