IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people whoa re innovative and able to work independently, while others consider they should recruit pople who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

4.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
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Introduction
A few people
emphasize
Change the spelling
emphasise
show examples
 that
recruiter
Fix the agreement mistake
recruiters
show examples
 should
priortize
Correct your spelling
prioritise
independency
Replace the word
independence
show examples
 and
creative
Correct article usage
a creative
show examples
 mindset
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while
Change preposition
during
show examples
hiring
Correct article usage
the hiring
show examples
 process
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 others
holds
Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
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an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
opinion
Use synonyms
 that having an
employee
Use synonyms
 with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great teamwork
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 can be more beneficial for
Use synonyms
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
 growth.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both the views
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
 with my personal
opinion
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
On the one side,
It
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it
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 is often argued that
independency
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independence
show examples
 and creativity
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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 a significant role in
Use synonyms
company's
Correct article usage
a company's
show examples
 growth.
Independent
Correct article usage
An independent
show examples
employee
Use synonyms
 can
take
Use the right word
make
show examples
 quick
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 without any restrictions
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 need to follow
others
Check wording
others'
show examples
 instructions. Sometimes, in
office
Correct article usage
an office
show examples
 work
situation
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situation,
show examples
 may occur when decision
has
Wrong verb form
may have
show examples
 to be made in less than a minute
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 in these
scenerios
Correct your spelling
scenarios
 to have
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
employee
Use synonyms
 with strong
decision taker
Use the right word
decision-making
show examples
 skills and
inovative
Correct your spelling
innovative
 ideas is a
blessings
Fix the agreement mistake
blessing
show examples
.
Moreover
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,
Use synonyms
employee
Correct article usage
an employee
show examples
 with a creative mindset puts an extra impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the growth of
Use synonyms
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
 success.
Also
Linking Words
,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
innovative thoughts
reduces
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduce
show examples
 the productive time and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
task
Correct article usage
the task
show examples
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
easier to complete.
Body paragraph 2
On the other side, companies can be run easily with the help of employees,
according to
Linking Words
them
Punctuation problem
them,
show examples
team-work
Use the right word
teamwork
show examples
 is necessary to keep the
company
Use synonyms
high-rated
Use the right word
highly rated
show examples
. It plays
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 role
to work
Change preposition
in working
show examples
 as a team, because having everyone's
opinion
Use synonyms
 and feedback after
task
Check wording
apply
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completing can
streghten
Correct your spelling
strengthen
 the way of positive side.
Body paragraph 3
To exemplify, some people
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that start-ups
company
Use synonyms
 needs a team to grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, as it builds
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 environment at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
.
Conclusion
To
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Conclude
Fix capitalization
conclude
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, working as
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 independent
employee
Use synonyms
 with
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 creative idea is a key role for the
company
Use synonyms
's success, but teamwork cannot be denied. In my
opinion
Use synonyms
, hiring a
teamplayer
Correct your spelling
team player
 is the key part
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 it reduces
Use synonyms
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
 errors.

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Task Response
Improve task response by giving a clear view in one line in the intro and a strong conclusion that restates your view.
Structure
Build each main idea with a clear topic sentence and add 1 or 2 simple reasons or examples.
Language
Check grammar and spelling to make ideas easy to read, like small errors with articles and verbs.
Examples
Use more examples to support ideas, even short ones.
Coherence
Use simple linking words to show contrasts and flow, like but, also, and, however.
Structure
The essay shows a clear plan with introduction, body and conclusion.
Content
The writer tries to show both sides and give a personal view.
Ideas
There are ideas about hiring and team work that stay on topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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