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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables below give information about the world population and distribution in 1950 and 2000, with an estimate of the situation in 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table provides the
infromation
Correct your spelling
information
 of the
population
Use synonyms
 and how it is distributed around the world in 1950 and 2000, predicting its course in the year 2050. The
population
Use synonyms
 is measured in billions
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the distribution is measured in
poercentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the growth in citizens might increase by almost
four folds
Use the right word
fourfold
show examples
 in the year
2050
Punctuation problem
2050,
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 except
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Europe
Change preposition
for Europe
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 and North
America
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decresing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
, and most of the numbers concentrated in Asia, over the century. In the year 1950, there were around 2.5
billion
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 inhabitants in the world, more than half of
which
Correct pronoun usage
whom
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settled
Verb problem
lived
show examples
 in Asia
comprising
Punctuation problem
, comprising
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
56%.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Oceania had less than a
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The second most populated region was
Europe
Use synonyms
 with
22
Correct article usage
a 22
show examples
% contribution. Latin and North
America
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 had 13%
along with
Linking Words
 9%
africans
Fix capitalization
Africans
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.
In
Change preposition
At
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 the start of the new century, 6
billion
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 people were recorded, of which Asia still remained the most crowded continent
Punctuation problem
, consisting
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consisting
Verb problem
accounting
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with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 60% of the total
humans
Check wording
population
show examples
.
Althoug
Correct your spelling
Although
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
oceania
Fix capitalization
Oceania
show examples
 had 1% but still had the least amount of people. Notably,
Europe
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 had almost half of its
population
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 depleted
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
 with North
America
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at
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
 2% decrease. In 2050,
people
Check wording
the population
show examples
 might increase by 3
billion
Use synonyms
 and reach 9
billion
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, on
show examples
on
Change preposition
according to
show examples
 an
estimation
Replace the word
estimate
show examples
. Asians would still hold
largest
Correct article usage
the largest
show examples
population
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around
Punctuation problem
, around
show examples
 56% with Oceania maintaining a percentage.
Europe
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 will suffer yet another 5% loss
while
Linking Words
 North
America
Use synonyms
 will
loose
Use the right word
lose
show examples
 1% again.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "along with".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, europe, america, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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