IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think competitions inside and outside of school are necessary for children to prepare for their future. Others think it's bad . Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Competition
Use synonyms
 is considered to be an essential skill for the future of
children
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
by
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 many people.
However
Linking Words
, others think that it is
unnesessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 for them to compete inside or outside of school.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 both points of view and why I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 in the latter opinion. On one hand,
competition
Use synonyms
 can motivate
children
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 harder at school to obtain high marks.
For example
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, many studies have
shonw
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shown
 that
children
Use synonyms
 who were
orianted
Correct your spelling
oriented
 to compete with
thier colegues
Correct your spelling
their colleagues
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the classrooms
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classrooms
Fix the agreement mistake
classroom
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 were
cabaple
Correct your spelling
capable
 of recording higher marks
at
Change preposition
on
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 their exams.
This
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 skill can prepare them to be
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 in their
work
Use synonyms
 positions after graduation.
However
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,
competition
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 is not enough for them to
succed
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succeed
 in
thier carreir
Correct your spelling
their career
.There are more important skills that can create a successful generation.
For instance
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, how to
work
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 in a team can replace
competion
Correct your spelling
competition
. Cooperation with their
class mate
Use the right word
classmates
show examples
 can aid
to solve
Change preposition
in solving
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 many tasks without the need for
competition
Use synonyms
 with others
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they can reach their goals
in
Change preposition
with
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 less effort.
Also
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, avoiding
competition
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 can protect
children
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 from serious stress
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can be a serious result of their failure at school. It
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
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 help them to build a strong relationship with their friends.
Competition
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 may
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
 them
to grow
Change preposition
from growing
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 up in a healthy environment and end up
to have
Wrong verb form
having
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 many enemies
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
 of
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
. In conclusion,
compeiting
Correct your spelling
competing
 with others can push
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
 to
work
Use synonyms
 harder
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 at the same time it will
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
childre
Correct your spelling
children
to
Change preposition
from working
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work
Use synonyms
 in a healthy and
cooping
Correct word choice
cooperative
show examples
 environment. It will lead to
bulid
Correct your spelling
building
 a child with a selfish personality.

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task response
State a clear opinion in the intro and restate it in the end.
coherence
Make one idea per paragraph. Start each with a topic sentence.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show the flow between ideas (for example, first, also, however, finally).
grammar spelling
Check spelling and grammar; fix common errors (orianted, shonw, colegues, etc).
lexical resource
Keep to simple words; avoid long or mixed phrases. Use basic sentence patterns.
task response
Give real, short examples to support points.
grammar
Make sure tenses are clear and correct.
structure
The essay tries to present both sides and shows an overall plan (intro, body, conclusion).
coherence
There is effort to use connect words to link ideas.
task response
The writer shows an effort to answer the task and give an opinion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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