IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say it is government’s responsibility to transport children to school, while others believe parents should transport their children to school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nobody can deny that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 an important role in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. The more modern of social life, the greater the responsibility of the state. Some people
ague
Use the right word
argue
show examples
 that
parents
Use synonyms
 have
duty
Correct article usage
a duty
show examples
 to bring their
children
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others say
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 the responsibility of the
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
. I myself agree with the second opinion
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will be
discuss
Wrong verb form
discussed
show examples
 in the following paragraph.
Although
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
 can have more freedom when sending their
children
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
, it will make the
children
Use synonyms
 dependent. From that, they can sleep longer so they
unable
Verb problem
are unable
show examples
 to eat properly. Because of that problem, it will affect health and make
children
Use synonyms
 late for
school
Use synonyms
.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, when
Correct article usage
the gorvernment
show examples
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a hand in taking the
children
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
 can solve
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 difficult issues.
Children
Use synonyms
 can learn to live independently. They'll know that if they don't prepare
becarefully
Correct your spelling
carefully
, they will miss the bus.
Moreover
Linking Words
, students
definitely will
Correct word order
will definitely
show examples
 not be late for
school
Use synonyms
,
if
Correct word choice
and if
show examples
 late to class will be let off because it is the
school
Use synonyms
's responsibility.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 will be assured that their
children
Use synonyms
 will not hang out or go to
school
Use synonyms
 alone, which can be dangerous. In a nutshell,
children
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
brought to
school
Use synonyms
 by
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 will have more
freetime
Correct your spelling
free time
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 not the best way for
children
Use synonyms
's development than the government sending
children
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 develop in the most complete way.

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content
Plan your essay. Say both views, then give your own view clearly at the end.
grammar
Make your sentences simple. Fix many spell and gram errors to make ideas clear.
structure
Use clear link words to show how ideas are related. Start a new idea in a new paragraph.
content
There is a clear stance in the end.
structure
The idea of both sides is started in the text.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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