IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some Individuals believe that
challinging
Correct your spelling
challenging
 at
work
Use synonyms
, at school and in normal life is something good, but others think that cooperation is
much
Rephrase
more
show examples
 important than
challinging
Correct your spelling
challenging
toward
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each other. I clearly agree that cooperation is essential in all aspects of life. In my point of view, competition sometimes can help employees to
work
Use synonyms
 more and with high
effeciency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
.
Also
Linking Words
, students in many cases like being in competition with
thier colleages
Correct your spelling
their colleagues
.
For example
Linking Words
, in my country there is a system for all workers that
meassure
Correct your spelling
measures
 how much the worker has finished from his or her annual
work
Use synonyms
 plan.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the year, the one who got the highest percentage of completion
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be rewarded.
This
Linking Words
 system might
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 an effect on increasing the
effeciency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, people got
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
terrible
Correct article usage
a terrible
show examples
because
Check wording
mood because
show examples
 of the selfish feeling
due to
Linking Words
 the
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 between them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
being cooperate
Wrong verb form
cooperating
show examples
 with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 is essential to keep the
group
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
. Many jobs need
group
Use synonyms
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
, so if there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
between
Change preposition
with
show examples
 others, the job might not be finished because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
selfish
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
. As an example, individuals tend to
challing
Correct your spelling
challenge
 each other if the reward will be for one person only, but if the reward will be for the whole
group
Use synonyms
all
Punctuation problem
, all
show examples
 of them will
work
Use synonyms
 as
Use synonyms
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
Check wording
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 type of reward has proved
it is workability
Check wording
its effectiveness
show examples
 in terms of
work
Use synonyms
 improvement. All in all, cooperation is essential to
booste
Correct your spelling
boost
 the
effeciency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
 of
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 as well
to
Correct word choice
as to
show examples
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 level. People
always should
Correct word order
should always
show examples
copperat
Correct your spelling
cooperate
 with each other in all aspects of life.

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improvement
Make the answer more even. Give more clear ideas on both views and compare them well.
improvement
Use linking words to show connect and change (but, however, on the other hand, in addition).
improvement
Check grammar and spell. Use shorter and simple sentence to be clear.
strength
The idea that cooperation matters is clear.
strength
There is an example from life to support a point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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