Some believe that the government should support artists like musicians, painters, and poets, while others argue that this a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, the issue of the leadership's investment in money has emerged as a matter of significant concern to the general public.

While

Linking Words

some

individuals

Use synonyms

maintain that the lawmakers should support money for

artists

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as musicians, painters, and poets, I

content

Use the right word

contend

show examples

that the government should give money to the

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

system.

This

Linking Words

essay aims to provide a comprehensive analysis of these differing viewpoints. On the one hand, it is essential to

recognize

Change the spelling

recognise

show examples

that

individuals

Use synonyms

should acknowledge the significant advantages associated with

artists

Use synonyms

offers

Correct subject-verb agreement

offer

show examples

a variety of benefits that

extent

Replace the word

extend

show examples

far beyond mere creativity, increasing awareness. A crucial consideration is that

artists

Use synonyms

help more

people

Use synonyms

relaxing

Wrong verb form

relax

show examples

, reduce stress and

fostering

Wrong verb form

foster

show examples

creative thinking, which highlights that it helps

individuals

Use synonyms

develop many skills,

such

Linking Words

as creative skills and problem-solving skills.

In addition

Linking Words

, another important

points

Fix the agreement mistake

point

show examples

to emphasise is that it helps

people

Use synonyms

boost

confident

Replace the word

confidence

show examples

and

easy

Replace the word

easily

show examples

connect with many new friends.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that

artists

Use synonyms

help

people

Use synonyms

boost confidence and improve concentration.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is crucial to consider is opposing viewpoints

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

that

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

improves numerous benefits that

extent

Replace the word

extend

show examples

far beyond mere disease prevention, improving productivity and fostering mental well-being. A significant factor to explore is that

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

helps decrease disease and develop machinery in hospitals, which underscores that it helps protect patient

health

Use synonyms

and improve physical

health

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it is essential to highlight that it helps improve sleep and mental well-being.

This

Linking Words

assertion is supported by the fact that

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

helps strengthen the body,

minimize

Change the spelling

minimise

show examples

stress and enhance sleep quality. In conclusion, an analysis of the differing

perspective

Fix the agreement mistake

perspectives

show examples

on the government should balance between

artists

Use synonyms

and the

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

's lives, highlight that

artists

Use synonyms

brings

Correct subject-verb agreement

bring

show examples

several merits to

people

Use synonyms

and modern life, and

besides

Linking Words

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

plays

Correct subject-verb agreement

play

show examples

an important role in the lives of most

people

Use synonyms

today. Ultimately,

it is clear that

Linking Words

artists

Use synonyms

have many benefits for society, so it should be developed by the government.

This

Linking Words

examination prompts

individuals

Use synonyms

to thoughtfully consider their preferences and the experiences that influence their enjoyment.

quynhtranhbh

Dec 6, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Task response: The essay talks about both sides but the idea to choose one view is not clear. State a clear main opinion in the conclusion and keep it steady in the body.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: Use more linking words to join thoughts. Each paragraph should have one main idea and a simple line to the next one.

Structure

There is a plan with an intro, body and conclusion.

Content

The essay tries to show both sides of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

345 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
These days, more and more people want to choose to start a self-employed job instead of working for a company or organisation. This trend is so popular and common all over the over. In my opinion,this trend is so popular, it is because more and more young people want to achieve their dreams in their methods, Meanwhile,they want to work in a free environment. They believe working in their own companies can help them improve their work efficiency. In addition, nowadays, when people choose to work in a company, they will meet all kinds of stress from their work environment.
6.5
band
Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As a student who is pursuing a degree and working on his startup simultaneously, I disagree with the statement. My preference and answer to the question will be discussed further.
7.5
band
'- Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statemen
Childhood obesity is a growing issue in Australia, with nearly two-thirds of children now classified as overweight or obese. Some believe that schools should take responsibility for monitoring students’ diets and exercise to address this problem. While I agree that schools have a role to play, I believe that the responsibility must also be shared with parents and the wider community.
6
band
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, think that school is the place to learn it. Discuss both views?
In recent times, children-related education and teaching have sparked heated debates about whether it is parents’ responsibility to teach their kids how to be useful people in society or whether schools are obligated to accomplish this of paramount importance mission. Thus the various opinions are split down in the middle, based on the aforementioned issue. In this essay, both camps of this argument will be analyzed before a legitimate conclusion is reached
6.5
band
Your next door neighbor owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbor requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: oYour reason for writing oWhat you would like to happen oA nice, respectful style.
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to you as a concerned neighbor, and I hope my words convey the utmost respect.

Some believe that the government should support artists like musicians, painters, and poets, while others argue that this a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

'- Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statemen

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, think that school is the place to learn it. Discuss both views?

Your next door neighbor owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbor requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: oYour reason for writing oWhat you would like to happen oA nice, respectful style.