More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computer and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills . Doscuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion .

A lot of parents foster their kids to play on gadgets like computers

abd

Correct your spelling

and

tablets ,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

they think that

this

Linking Words

kind of

actions

Fix the agreement mistake

action

show examples

will improve

offspring's

Correct pronoun usage

their offspring's

show examples

technological abilities . Personally ,

Fix capitalization

show examples

agree with

former

Correct article usage

the former

show examples

idea , despite the fact that

this

Linking Words

encouragement can lead to health problems .

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

and disadvantages

also

Linking Words

include my opinion

at the end

Linking Words

. The opponents of technological encouragement among children

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

believe that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

cutting edge

Use the right word

cutting-edge

show examples

technologies cause damage to the health of kids.

Offspring's

Check wording

Offspring

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

who overuse

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

digital devices and stare

Change preposition

show examples

the screen for a long time tend to have

healt

Correct your spelling

health

issues like decreased blood pressure , which results in severe headaches , and weakened eyes , causing

spoiled

Correct word choice

impaired

show examples

vision . The results of conducted

researchs

Correct your spelling

research

by Oxford University

shows

Correct subject-verb agreement

show

show examples

that , throughout

Linking Words

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

decade , the rate of kids with vision problems

rises

Wrong verb form

has risen

show examples

year by year

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

on top of that , researchers underlined the impact of nowadays gadgets on

Linking Words

this

Fix the agreement mistake

these

show examples

results . The proponents,

on the other hand

Linking Words

, strongly support the widerange use of information technologies

amond

Correct your spelling

among

adolescents.

According to

Linking Words

their opinion , computers or other groundbreaking devices

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

assist

to acquire

Change preposition

in acquiring

show examples

more and more information about

things

Correct article usage

the things

show examples

surrounding us .

Moreover

Linking Words

, technology

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

students to get their homework done efficiently. Through

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

and other tools, students are able to obtain more data and do their

homeworks

Correct your spelling

homework

quickly .

For instance

Linking Words

researchs

Correct your spelling

research

of Michigan University

display

Correct subject-verb agreement

displays

show examples

that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

incentivized

Change the spelling

incentivised

show examples

use of technology during the lockdown period

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

enhanced the quality of projects done by students . In conclusion ,

although

Linking Words

increased screen time

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

several drawbacks ,

Fix capitalization

show examples

believe that adjusted use of technology would benefit in

Correct article usage

the long-term

show examples

long-term

Use the right word

long term

show examples

celalselimov2004

Dec 6, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Be clear about your view from the start and keep it in mind as you write.

structure

Divide your answer into clear parts: introduction, two body parts (one for each side), and a conclusion with your view.

coherence

Use linking words to show how ideas fit: also, but, however, therefore.

grammar

Check spelling and grammar. Fix common errors in this draft (researchs, homeworks, wideRange, offspring's).

content

Give one clear example for each side to back up your points.

content

The essay tries to discuss both sides and give an opinion.

structure

There is an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.

examples

Some sources are named to back claims.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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People who carry out extreme sports, such as scuba diving and bungee jumping, have responsibility for their own safety. Thus, rescue teams do not risk their lives in order to keep those people. However, I opposite to the given argument for several reasons.

More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computer and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills . Doscuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion .

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

About physical exercise, some people prefer to exercise in a fitness center, while others prefer outdoor activities, choose one of them and argue about it.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People doing dangerous sporting activities like scuba-diving and bungee-jumping should be responsible for their own safety. Rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. Do you agree or disagree?