IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many offenders commit crimes again after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

The fact that many offenders commit crimes again after serving their first punishment
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This
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. This
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 essay will examine the primary causes of
this
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problem
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,
such
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 as
job
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 issues and
prison
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 failures, and suggest possible solutions to
this
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problem
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. There are two main reasons
for
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apply
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why people repeat crimes. The first one is the social stigma and lack of
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job
Correct article usage
a job
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. After leaving
prison
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, people find it very hard to get a good
job
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 because of their record. When they cannot find work, they do not have money, and they might go back to crime. Another reason is that the
prison
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 system does not fix the
problem
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. Many prisons only focus on punishment. They do not teach inmates new skills
like
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, like
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 computers or building things. If they do not learn new things, they cannot live a normal life outside. Various measures can be taken to address
this
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 issue. One solution would be to teach prisoners
job
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 skills in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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prison
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. When they learn a skill, they can find work easily after
prison
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.
For example
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, learning to fix cars is a good skill. Another measure would be to help them find work and support them in the community. The government should give money to companies that hire former prisoners.
Also
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, having support
centers
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centres
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 can help them slowly go back to society and not feel alone. In conclusion, there are two primary reasons for reoffending, which are no jobs and poor help in
prison
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, and a number of actions can be taken to tackle
this
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problem
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. The best way is to teach skills and help them get a
job
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 after they finish their punishment.

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structure
Add a clear plan at the start and end. Say your two main ideas at the start and restate them in the end.
content
Give more depth for each point. Add more than one example to show each idea.
language
Check small grammar mistakes and use only simple word forms.
language
You tell the idea in a simple and easy way.
content
Two main ideas are easy to see in the text.
structure
You use linking words like and, also to join ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation programs
  • social stigma
  • ex-convicts
  • reintegration
  • support systems
  • mental health issues
  • addiction problems
  • criminal networks
  • incarceration
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