IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

the number of students that read books for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years.What are the reasons and how can we encourage children to read more?

Nowadays,
students
Use synonyms
 are not getting attracted very much
by
Change preposition
to
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 reading books in their leisure
time
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. In my opinion, there are some factors that affect
students
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to
Check wording
'
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enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoyment of
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 reading
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, they could be changed by the given strategies of the issue.
To begin
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 with, one of the reasons is that technology makes
a
Correct article usage
an
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 image-focused world these days. It decreases the ability of reading skills of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people. Especially, the AIs
spread
Wrong verb form
are spreading
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 in our daily life all over the world, and people are getting used to them,
making
Verb problem
causing
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the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 ability
of thinking
Change preposition
to think
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deteriorated
Verb problem
to deteriorate
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in
Change preposition
at
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 the same
time
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.
Next,
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lots of subjects that
students
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 need to study
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
Linking Words
 a main problem because they are not allowed to have enough
time
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 to relieve their stress from
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.
Therefore
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, they are supposed to be more hard on their homework and preparing
tests
Change preposition
for tests
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of reading books that make them delightful.
Nevertheless
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, there are two main strategies to solve the problems.
First,
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educating
students
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the
Change preposition
on the
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 importance of reading
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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 compared to the learning style of picture-based only. Some studies said that
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
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good
Correct article usage
a good
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 reading habit can help people
to
Verb problem
apply
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enhance their analytic ability.
Second,
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developing good
time
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 management
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 is a way to make
time
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 to immerse in the paradise of
reading
Correct article usage
the reading
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 world.
Students
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 can be taught through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lecture-based or personal sharing by either their teachers or peers.
To sum up
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, technology and
load
Correct article usage
a load
show examples
 of assignments from school could be the reasons to limit
students
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on
Change preposition
from
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 reading books,
while
Linking Words
 knowing
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
show examples
 of reading and
time
Use synonyms
 management are
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 ways to change the situation.

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organization
Improve the flow by using clear topic sentences and linking words for each paragraph.
content
Give more clear reasons and connect them to how they help reading in real life.
examples
Add exact examples to show how to make reading fun, like a small reading club or a library time at school.
language
Watch grammar and use simple word choices. Use short, direct sentences.
structure
Finish with a stronger close that restates your main idea and a final tip for teachers or parents.
content
The essay stays on topic and has an overall aim to fix the issue.
structure
There is a clear intro and a final conclusion.
content
Some useful ideas on how to solve the issue.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dramatically
  • leisure reading
  • digital distractions
  • reduced attention span
  • academic pressure
  • exposure
  • digital learning resources
  • interactive activities
  • diverse book selections
  • ebooks and audiobooks
  • reading preferences
  • role models
  • conducive
  • well-equipped
  • underprivileged communities
  • mobile libraries
What to do next:
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