IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, novel technologies are
launching
Wrong verb form
being launched
show examples
 year by year.
Although
Linking Words
 these latest innovations improve our lives, the youth spend too much
time
Use synonyms
 on them.
Therefore
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, I think that the drawbacks of new technologies
outrun
Verb problem
outweigh
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benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 bring. I would explain the reasons for my opinion. On the one hand, a considerable teenagers are addicted to social media or play online games. It doesn't affect only
on
Change preposition
apply
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their academic, but it
also
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 has
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact on their health.
For instance
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, numerous studies reveal that more than half of
children
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 spend three hours or more on online
plaforms
Correct your spelling
platforms
,
such
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 as
facebook
Fix capitalization
Facebook
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, threads and
youtube
Use the right word
YouTube
show examples
, day by day. Without a doubt, the teen cannot put sufficient
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
into
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 their studying. Meanwhile, they
trend
Use the right word
tend
show examples
 to play online games
instead
Linking Words
 of doing exercises or
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
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 with others in person. These would cause to
reduce
Replace the word
reduction
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communication
Change preposition
in communication
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 ability and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of physical training, so it would bring a bad influence on their development.
On the other hand
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, someone
opine
Correct subject-verb agreement
opines
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 that
artifical
Correct your spelling
artificial
 intelligence can boost the next
gerenration
Correct your spelling
generation
 to self-study and inspire them to
creat
Use the right word
create
show examples
 new innovations. I agree that AI can provide a convenient and easy method to learn.
However
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,at the same
time
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, AI may offer some fake information. The youth may not have enough knowledge and experience to distinguish whether it is true or not.
For example
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, many news
report
Fix the agreement mistake
reports
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 that thousands of
children
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 attempt to do dangerous behaviours.
Finally
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, a larger number of teenagers suffer from serious
wound
Fix the agreement mistake
wounds
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, or even
died
Wrong verb form
die
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.
Therefore
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, using AI
contain
Correct subject-verb agreement
contains
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 underlying danger. In a nutshell, we cannot omit the disadvantages of new technologies. Plenty of
children
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 are too
obessed
Correct your spelling
obsessed
on
Change preposition
with
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 network or online games, so it
incur
Correct subject-verb agreement
incurs
show examples
lesser
Correct word choice
less
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time
Use synonyms
 on their real social life and
physcial
Correct your spelling
physical
 training.
Moreover
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, they get hurt because of too easier to trust AI.
Thus
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, I recommend
to enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
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 the awareness of using AI
to
Change preposition
among
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 teenagers and
regulate
Wrong verb form
regulating
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 what kind of information
provide
Wrong verb form
is provided
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 to
children
Use synonyms
.

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language
Fix grammar and spelling mistakes so the text is easy to read. Common errors, e.g., 'outweigh', 'platforms', 'physcial' should be corrected.
language
Use short, clear sentences and break long sentences into two parts to avoid mistakes.
structure
Plan the write: show your view in a clear line, then give two reasons with a small example, and finish with a short, clear ending that repeats your view.
coherence
Make ideas flow with linking words. Use 'but', 'also', 'however', 'therefore' to join ideas.
content
Give more real and exact examples. Say what happens and why it backs your point.
structure
Your view is clear in the intro and restated in the end.
coherence
You try to cover both sides and not only one view.
content
You name tech like social media and AI, which helps your topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • new technologies
  • children
  • free time
  • access
  • educational resources
  • information
  • development
  • key skills
  • enhancing
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • opportunity
  • connect
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • lack
  • physical activity
  • potential
  • health issues
  • impact
  • social
  • emotional development
  • exposure
  • inappropriate content
  • addiction
  • dependency
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