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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

If we talk about the behaviour of human beings, it will always be linked to emotional intelligence that develops
since
Change preposition
from
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 their early age. Some people might have different circumstances than others in
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of emotional experience. These emotional experiences will create perspective on how we see things, and
finally
Linking Words
, how we behave. Research said, students who grow up in caring, compassionate families tend to have better attitudes, higher emotional intelligence compared to those who don't. Their family or
relative's
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relatives'
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 behaviour specifically will have the most influence on how they will treat others. Because once again,
children
Use synonyms
 are the most sophisticated copy machine. These good behaviours
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 planted for years and become part of their character. When they meet other people in different environments,
such
Linking Words
 as schools, they will most likely bring that good character in handy, easier to adapt, and tend to have good interpersonal skills.
In contrast
Linking Words
, those who don't carry good examples of their parents
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 will most likely behave without control, lack
of
Change preposition
apply
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emotional stability and communication skills. In
this
Linking Words
 case, I would suggest that all families communicate as often and as deeply as possible with their
children
Use synonyms
. Parents must present for their
children
Use synonyms
. Not only will
this
Linking Words
 make
children
Use synonyms
 feel secure and listened to, but it will
also
Linking Words
 create emotional bonding.
This
Linking Words
 emotional bonding will create a good emotional experience that makes every child not crave too much attention from other people, even at school. If they don't crave attention from others, they will most likely not throw tantrums.

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content
Add more causes for school misbehavior beyond family life, like school rules, peer pressure, and not enough help for kids with trouble at home.
structure
Use more linking words and clear paragraph flow to show the path of your argument.
grammar
Fix grammar issues and simple mistakes, and use clear, short sentences.
structure
Give a short conclusion that sums up the ideas and adds a final thought or a real plan for action in schools.
content
The essay shows a good link between family life and how kids act.
content
The idea of family talks and bonding as a solution is simple and easy to carry out.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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