IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

At a present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large amount of young adults ,compare with the number of older people .do The advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, the number of
youngers
Use the right word
young people
show examples
surpass
Correct subject-verb agreement
surpasses
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
that to
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to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the elderly in some nations. An increase in
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 of young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
demonstrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrates
show examples
 higher productivity and creativity
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the older own more capital and resources.
This
Linking Words
 essay would explain why more
youngers
Use the right word
young people
show examples
 are more
benefitical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 and helpful to our community.
To begin
Linking Words
, the teen reveals their talent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 new technologies and innovations. Teenagers would not be confined by intrinsic knowledge and experience, so they
always can
Correct word order
can always
show examples
 create novel technologies. To illustrate, a famous and successful employer, Elon Musk, established
well-known
Correct article usage
the well-known
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 brand Tesla when he was a teenager. Elon Musk held a revolution
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the electrical
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electrical
Correct word choice
electric
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 car industry because he
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
breakthrough
Use the right word
break through
show examples
 fixed knowledge.
Therefore
Linking Words
, teenagers can beat the elderly
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their determination and creativity.
In addition
Linking Words
, the older would contribute
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 enormous healthcare and retirement burden to the government.
A considerable
Correct word choice
Many
show examples
elders
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
cannot
Check wording
people cannot
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 afford their basic needs after retiring because of insufficient
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, a larger number of
olders
Correct your spelling
older
rely
Check wording
people rely
show examples
 on financial aid
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the USA government.
Besides
Linking Words
, various diseases,
such
Linking Words
 as high blood pressure, diabetes and cancer, would occur
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 ageing. Eventually, the youth
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 forced to pay more tax
for sustaining
Change preposition
to sustain
show examples
 colossal medical expenditure. To a nutshell,
soaring
Correct article usage
a soaring
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amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
youngers
Use the right word
young
show examples
 doesn't only
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 stronger economic support to countries, but they can
also
Linking Words
 create different kinds of innovations to improve our lives.
However
Linking Words
, the older
can
Check wording
generation can
show examples
 share their own experience
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the next generation. It leads them to avoid making wrong decisions.

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task
Work on the task by giving a clear yes or no on if the good points of more young people in a country do beat the bad points from older people. Do not use facts you are not sure about.
language
Fix grammar and word choice. Use 'young people' instead of 'youngers' and 'older people' instead of 'the older'.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea. In the intro, restate the question in your own words. In the body, give one idea with a small, simple example. In the conclusion, give your final view.
content
Be careful with facts and numbers. If you are not sure, use general ideas rather than specific numbers.
coherence
Use linking words to connect ideas: 'first', 'next', 'but', 'in conclusion'.
structure
There is a basic plan with an intro, body and conclusion.
content
Attempt to give examples to explain your points.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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