IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

During the age of data exploration, the possibility of information sharing is debatable. Some
persons
Check wording
people
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 insist that it should benefit
to
Change preposition
apply
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various aspects,
such
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 as science, business and education, but
someone
Use the right word
some
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 argue that it is too vital
if
Change preposition
to
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sharing
Wrong verb form
share
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 freely.
This
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 essay will discuss
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both sides of the argument and provide reasons why
sometimes it is
Correct word order
it is sometimes
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 very dangerous to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mankind. Initiating with good for the freedom of information
delivering
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delivery
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, many
countries
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, particularly developing
countries
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, cannot afford an immense expenditure on scientific research.
Therefore
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, they cannot invent the medicine to save the lives of people
due to
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of knowledge and technique.
For instance
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, most of the vaccines were produced by well-developed
countries
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 when we faced
Covid-19
Use the right word
COVID-19
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.
However
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,
another
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other
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countries
Use synonyms
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also can
Correct word order
can also
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 produce the vaccine if they have the scientific research.
On the other hand
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, someone
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
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 that it can bring a catastrophic consequence. If a country misuses the skill of nuclear power, it will cause a dangerous and irreversible result to all human beings and the environment.
For example
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, Japan
happened
Verb problem
experienced
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 the leakage of nuclear waste a decade ago. It hasn’t only affected the people who surrounded the nuclear power station, but it has
damaged
Rephrase
also damaged
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 the ecosystem and biodiversity.
Moreover
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, North Korea has the ability
of
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to produce
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 nuclear
weapon
Fix the agreement mistake
weapons
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producing
Verb problem
apply
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, but they threaten throughout the world for the supply of resources and food. It cannot be forgiven and accepted by everyone.
To conclude
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, after the analysis of above mentioned facts, it can be said that it will be a serious problem if information
transiting
Replace the word
transits
show examples
 without any restriction.
Therefore
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, we should rule out the scientific research to share if it can incur a horrible situation we may face.

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task response
State your own view clearly in the intro or after showing both sides. Then grow this view with a few strong ideas and one clear example.
coherence
Link ideas with simple transitions. Start each paragraph with a clear idea and end with a tie to the point.
grammar
Fix grammar and word form. Watch for wrong endings and plural forms. Use simple, short sentences.
examples
Use precise and relevant examples that fit each point.
structure
End with a short, clear closing that restates your view and main points.
structure
There is a plan with an intro, body and end.
content
The topic is real and used some true events as an idea.
content
The writer tries to give both sides.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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