IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

1.Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, an increasing
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 face
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large stress from working . Several residents hope that
parks
Use synonyms
 and
gardens
Use synonyms
 , which are closed to the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
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, can be placed by residential block , but someone
disagree
Correct subject-verb agreement
disagrees
show examples
the
Change preposition
with the
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 claim.
Overall
Linking Words
 , I think these public facilities are necessary for us.
However
Linking Words
, some residents think that these public facilities ought to be replaced by flats or apartments. First of all, if these
parks
Use synonyms
 and
gardens
Use synonyms
 become
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
residents
Replace the word
residential
show examples
 buildings , it will reduce the traffic congestion because several
people
Use synonyms
 can travel to work or study on foot . At the same time ,
people
Use synonyms
 can save the time
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
spends
Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
show examples
 on
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it can reduce the pollution
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 vehicles .Nowadays,
although
Linking Words
 a decreasing number of cars using fossil fuels
, the
Verb problem
is decreasing, the
show examples
 vehicles are still used by the public .
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of cars can be reduced by the increasing number of flats in the towns . Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that these
parks
Use synonyms
 and
gardens
Use synonyms
 should not be replaced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
apartments. First of all ,the action will cut the green belt and lead to several problems in
series
Correct article usage
a series
show examples
 .Some animals
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 cats and
insects
Punctuation problem
insects,
show examples
 may be affected and lose their habitats . At the same time , it will not
benefit
Wrong verb form
be beneficial
show examples
 for the reduction of air pollution if there are not enough trees.
Secondly
Linking Words
 , not only trees but
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
flowers can provide a spiritual home for the public .Nowadays ,a growing number of workers face huge stress .
Therefore
Linking Words
 , they ought to relax
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
after working
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 these green belts are the best place for them .
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
although
Linking Words
 a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 think the
parks
Use synonyms
 and
gardens
Use synonyms
 should be replaced by buildings .I still believe that
gardens
Use synonyms
 are
still
Rephrase
apply
show examples
necessary for several things .

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structure
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and keep it in all paragraphs.
structure
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and end with a restated point.
content
Give more exact examples from the prompt or real life to back each point.
language
Use simple grammar and correct punctuation. Check mistakes.
structure
There is a plan to talk about both sides of the issue.
content
Some good points on why parks can help reduce stress and pollution.
linguistic
Link words like First of all, Secondly show a basic link around ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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