IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

in many countries, traditional foods are being replaced be fast food. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that in some countries, fast
food
Use synonyms
 has overtaken
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 dish in popularity. It has
adverse
Correct article usage
an adverse
show examples
 effect on civil society. Personally, I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for a few reasons. Consumption of fast
food
Use synonyms
 has several detrimental consequences. The first and foremost
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 that eating junk
food
Use synonyms
 can cause health problems
such
Linking Words
 as impaired brain function and heart disease.
In addition
Linking Words
,
high level
Use the right word
high-level
show examples
 ingestion of greasy
food
Use synonyms
 evokes unhealthy fat accumulation
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 leads individuals to obesity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, lack of energy may
a
Verb problem
have a
show examples
negative effect on people’s
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and studies.
Thus
Linking Words
, these factors of fast
food
Use synonyms
 clearly have some influence productivity of healthy and daily performance.
In contrast
Linking Words
, it may have contrary sides which
currently everybody
Correct word order
everybody currently
show examples
 uses in their lifestyle. For a start, citizens are able to consume their meals far more rapidly than at home
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 it is
provide
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 beneficial time
manage
Replace the word
management
show examples
 for the busy person.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in many situations, fast foods in some services are more accessible than home-cooked meals;
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 poverty families
better
Change preposition
with better
show examples
 options.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a wide variety of
diches
Correct your spelling
dishes
ensure
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensures
show examples
 that people do not have a monotonous choice of
food
Use synonyms
.
The
Correct determiner usage
Overall
show examples
overall
Linking Words
, individuals prefer
use
Verb problem
to use
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants to save time and have convenient meals, which
important
Verb problem
is important
show examples
 in
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
show examples
 world. In summary, fast
food
Use synonyms
 provides convenience, diversity, and saves
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
, which are imperative in modern life. At the same time, it can have
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 effect on health and daily productivity.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I partly support
this
Linking Words
 idea.

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task response
Make your own view clear at the start of the essay and stay with it.
task response
Give one idea per paragraph and explain with a short, real example.
coherence
Use simple linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
grammar
Check grammar and spell wrong words so your meaning is clear.
style
Use short and easy sentences to keep flow steady.
content
The essay shows a view and a partial agree position.
coherence
Clear use of some link words like In contrast, Furthermore.
structure
There is a clear ending that sums up the idea.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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