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Writing Samples
Band 3

The table gives data on consequence of a survey in 2004 which asked undergraduate and postgraduate students of a Uk university whether they were encouraged with the facilities at the university.

In study facilities in bedrooms
postgraduate
Punctuation problem
, postgraduate
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students
Use synonyms
 were very satisfied with the percentage of 65 %,
quiet
Use the right word
quite
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 satisfied with 20 % and 15 % were not at all. In
university
Correct article usage
the university
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 cafeteria
postgraduate
Punctuation problem
, postgraduate
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 were very satisfied which was 52 % and undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
 were 70 % which was very satisfied.
Also
Linking Words
, postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 were
quiet
Use the right word
quite
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 satisfied 32% and
quiet
Use the right word
quite
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 satisfied 16 %. undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
 were3%. In social facilities
postgraduate
Punctuation problem
, postgraduate
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students
Use synonyms
 80 % were very satisfied and 15 %
quiet
Use the right word
quite
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 satisfied
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 not at all 15 %.
undergraduate
Fix capitalization
Undergraduate
show examples
students
Use synonyms
45
Punctuation problem
, 45
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 % were very satisfied
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
25 % were
quiet
Use the right word
quite
show examples
 satisfied
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 not at all were 30%. In general, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
 were very satisfied rather
than
Change preposition
while
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 postgraduate and not at all satisfied
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
, also
show examples
 higher in
undergraduate
Correct word choice
postgraduate
show examples
students
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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