IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, has great influence in shaping people's ideas and their minds.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?Give reasons for your answer.

In today's modern era, it is argued by some that the mass
media
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,
such
Linking Words
 as TV, radio, and newspapers,
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 played a crucial role in shaping
people
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's mindsets and perspectives. I strongly agree with
this
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 phenomenon, and I believe that
such
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media
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 have provided unique opportunities for individuals to grow in their personal and professional
life
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 journey.
To begin
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 with, showcases provide valuable
information
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 regarding a broad spectrum of aspects of
life
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, setting individuals on a continuous path of personal and professional growth. These unique data involve diverse subjects about financial challenges, health problems, and educational matters, all of which equip one with essential skills,
such
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 as critical thinking, decision-making, and problem-solving.
For example
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, the
DR.
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Dr
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 OZ show in the United States of America, by offering remarkable
information
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 about various issues related to health, has helped
people
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 to change their lifestyle in a healthier way, which is truly worthwhile.
Hence
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, the mass
media
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, by presenting insightful tips,
challenges
Correct subject-verb agreement
challenge
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people
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's views about diverse aspects of
life
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 and effectively
navigates
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navigate
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 them into a cycle of development.
Furthermore
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, newspapers can enhance
people
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's understanding
concerning
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of
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 a wide variety of matters
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as new trends and challenges the society faces.
This
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 exposure allows
people
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 to assess their beliefs and values and recognise their weaknesses and strengths
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 change their harmful practices.
For instance
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, wildlife newspapers in Iran provide unique
information
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 about ecosystems and harmful habits threatening the environment, which leads
people
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 to reconsider their behaviours associated with their surroundings.
Thus
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,
such
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media
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 act as a teacher, assisting
people
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 in finding the best possible way to
development
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develop
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 in their
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. In conclusion, the mass
media
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 broadens individuals' knowledge about various aspects of
life
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 by presenting a wide range of
information
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, which not only allows
people
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 to evaluate their ideas and change them if needed but
also
Linking Words
 empowers their vital abilities,
such
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 as creativity.

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task response
Make your main ideas clear. Give one main idea per paragraph and stick to it.
coherence
Use a clear plan: intro, 2 body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words, such as and, also, but, for example.
language
Check grammar and spelling. Use simple sentence patterns to avoid errors.
task response
Give stronger or more precise examples that fit the point.
task response
Clear stance on the topic.
coherence
Some good linking words and a comparison of points.
task response
Uses examples to support ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • shape
  • ideas
  • minds
  • mass media
  • television
  • radio
  • newspapers
  • reach
  • audience
  • messages
  • beliefs
  • attitudes
  • values
  • views
  • ads
  • advertising
  • bias
  • misinformation
  • truth
  • facts
  • trust
  • critical thinking
  • media literacy
  • education
  • awareness
  • check sources
  • fact check
  • source
  • opinion
  • claim
  • reason
  • example
  • presentation
  • agenda
  • selection
  • credibility
  • regulation
  • public opinion
  • communication
  • culture
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