IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

📝 Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others say that economic growth is causing damage to the environment and should be stopped now. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While
Linking Words
 some people say that the solution for
theglobal
Correct your spelling
the global
 problems
such
Linking Words
 as
poverty
Use synonyms
abd
Correct your spelling
and
hunger
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 development ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other are against
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 since the
growth
Use synonyms
 of it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been damaging
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature for many centuries
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 if not
stopped
Punctuation problem
stopped,
show examples
 it can really be our end. Some people believe that economic
growth
Use synonyms
 is the main solution to end
poverty
Use synonyms
 and
hunger
Use synonyms
 in the world,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that it harms the environment and should be stopped. Both views have valid points, but I personally think that economic
growth
Use synonyms
 is important if it is managed carefully. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, economic
growth
Use synonyms
 can reduce
poverty
Use synonyms
 and
hunger
Use synonyms
 because it creates jobs and increases people’s income. When a country’s economy grows, governments can collect more taxes and spend more on healthcare, education, and food programs.
For example
Linking Words
, countries like China and India have lifted millions of people out of
poverty
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 decades mainly through rapid economic
growth
Use synonyms
. Without growing the economy, it is difficult to provide enough resources for everyone.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, uncontrolled economic
growth
Use synonyms
 often damages the environment. Industries and factories produce more pollution, deforestation increases, and natural resources are used faster than they can be replaced.
This
Linking Words
 can make the world less livable and even worsen
poverty
Use synonyms
 in the long term because poor communities suffer the most from floods, droughts, and air pollution. In my opinion, economic
growth
Use synonyms
 should continue, but it must be sustainable. Governments and businesses need to use cleaner technologies, reduce waste, and protect nature
while
Linking Words
 still creating jobs and increasing wealth.
This
Linking Words
 way, we can fight
poverty
Use synonyms
 without destroying the planet. In conclusion, economic
growth
Use synonyms
 can help end
poverty
Use synonyms
 and
hunger
Use synonyms
, but it must be balanced with environmental protection. Only by finding
this
Linking Words
 balance can we ensure a better future for everyone.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Fix small spelling and form errors in words like 'global' and 'economical' to help clarity.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas move from one point to the next.
task
Make your final view very clear in the end, with one simple sentence.
development
Add more depth about how growth can be green or slow so it helps poor people long term.
task response
The essay shows both sides and your own view.
organization
It has a clear order: intro, body, and conclusion.
content
It uses a real example (China and India) to back a point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: