IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Companies introduce new products regularly and encourage consumers to replace their old products with these new models. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In the contemporary era, with the
development
Use synonyms
 of digital technology, more and more companies participate in a competition to produce new items
instead
Linking Words
 of the previous ones. In
this
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 background, I believe it brings various benefits for the
development
Use synonyms
 of the economy.
However
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, I claim that it has negative effects on the environment and education. On the one hand, from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive perspective, producing more new products can motivate employees’ enthusiasm, embracing relevant designers and engineers, which brings better
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 to afford life expenses,
such
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 as higher educational fees and medical fees.
Additionally
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, positive and competitive relationships among plenty of companies can stimulate the local economy and ensure the consistent workload of the production line, which is beneficial for the local employment rate.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that excessive production of new and replacement products can be disadvantageous for the sustainable
development
Use synonyms
 of the environment. Lots of discarded products,
such
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 as electronic devices, plastic items and other books, not only destroy the ecosystem because of too many non-biodegradable materials, but
also
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 destroy vegetation
due to
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 excessive deforestation.
Furthermore
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, more and more students start to compare and follow the latest trends,
such
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 as purchasing a new iPhone, which negatively affects students’
development
Use synonyms
 of healthy consumption habits. In summary,
although
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 showcasing new goods with different designs can bring some positive influence on the local economy and employment rate, we cannot ignore that it brings more negative effects for the environment and the education of the young generation.

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Task Response
Speak clearly for your main point and keep it in the intro and in the body.
Task Response
Add real examples or facts to show your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear link words to show flow from one idea to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea and a short ending line.
Language
Check words to avoid wrong claim, e.g., 'books' or 'deforestation' are not well used.
Position
Clear view on the topic with a balance of good and bad points.
Organization
Use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' shows structure.
Structure
Introduction, body, and conclusion are present.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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