The population of young people is more than old people in the countries .And it benefit us To what extent do you agree or disagree?

İt is often asserted that
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
of young citizens is
bigger
Correct word choice
greater
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than elderly
humans
Check wording
people
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,
also
Linking Words
it
advantageous
Verb problem
is advantageous
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to us.I believe that
working
Correct article usage
the working
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class has more pros than cons .In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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I will argue both opinions of view and explain my idea. From my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
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there are plenty of reasons why
Correct article usage
the new
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new born
Use the right word
newborn
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population is more important than retired persons.The primary reason is that thanks to the fresh
generations
Punctuation problem
generations,
show examples
they can create things easily. I mean
they
Punctuation problem
, they
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can aid our government
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
making it stronger with clear minds they have or strong muscles.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,in
india
Fix capitalization
India
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via
Punctuation problem
, via
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new
graduates
Add a comma
graduates,
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they are improving themselves.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
this
Linking Words
angle is understandable
On the other hand
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.I firmly know that since old
civizilation
Correct your spelling
civilisation
lesser
Correct word choice
is less
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than young
citizens
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citizens,
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it might be a
chalange
Correct your spelling
challenge
.
This
Linking Words
is mainly because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they are not mature like their parents.I mean
they
Punctuation problem
, they
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don’t know how to behave strongly
to
Change preposition
towards
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the ıssues.
In addition
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to
this
Linking Words
if
Punctuation problem
, if
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they didn’t live any experience
how
Punctuation problem
, how
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can we expect they had
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
about life
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
we shouldn’t be trusting them about
impoertant
Correct your spelling
important
problems.Take Senegal as an example
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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Senegal there
lots
Verb problem
are lots
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of
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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or
adolsence
Correct your spelling
adolescents
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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they don’t have any mother or parents.
That is
Linking Words
why the country
near
Verb problem
is near
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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collapse.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
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this
Linking Words
approach brings more benefits In conclusion,
albeit
Change preposition
although
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idealogist which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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don’t agree
Change preposition
with z
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z
Correct your spelling
the
gen
Check wording
idea
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have more dominant,has some valid points.I would argue that who was younger than 20 years old
community
Check wording
apply
show examples
had more pivotal who was 60 years older.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. State the topic and your view in one line. Then add two ideas with small examples.
grammar
Use simple, short sentences. Check grammar and verb form.
organization
Keep one idea per paragraph. Start with a topic sentence.
mechanics
Use correct punctuation and capital letters.
content
Give a clear example for each idea and avoid too many facts from far places.
idea
There are some good ideas about young and old people.
structure
The essay shows an attempt to compare two sides.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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