IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this lask. It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write al least 250 words

The number of work
days
Use synonyms
 per week should be fewer , and employees must have an extended excursion. I totally agree that the expedition should be longer for workers, so they can have more time for their lives. In my point of view, the number of working
days
Use synonyms
 should be reduced to four
days
Use synonyms
 only.
This
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 reduction will lead to extending the excursion, which will offer more
days
Use synonyms
 for workers' lives. Many employees face the issue of not having a date for themselves
as well as
Linking Words
 for their families. In some cases,
this
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 might affect the worker's efficiency and put extra stress on them.
However
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, if a worker has more hours to spend with his family and friends, the employee will be in a relaxed mode,which will be reflected in his efficiency in the job.
In addition
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, having an extra day off will be reflected on the public economy by increasing the buying strength in the local market.
For example
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, people will go camping, so they will need to buy many things from the local market for their trip.
Also
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, having a longer expedition will boost the relationship between family members because they spend more
days
Use synonyms
 together.
On the other hand
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, some business owners will not agree with
this
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 opinion because they want their workers to spend more
days
Use synonyms
 at their job to increase their profit. In reality, they see one part of the story, which is the working hours.
This
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 is a misunderstanding because employees will approach more goals when they are in a good mood rather than stressed. Companies should look at the bright side of the story to get the benefit from
this
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 point of view. All in all, an extended expedition is preferable to many people
due to
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 several reasons, which I hardly agree with . The advantages of it are much more compared with the disadvantages.

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structure
Use a clear plan: start with your view, add 2 clear ideas, and end with a short finish.
grammar
Check grammar and sentence form, especially with verbs, articles, and preps.
examples
Give one or two solid examples with numbers or facts when you can.
coherence
Link ideas with simple connectors like because, so, and, but to show flow.
lexical
Watch word choice and spelling, keep to small words.
content
Your view is clear.
support
You use ideas about family time and money effect.
ideas
Some good ideas are shown.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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