Some people think that getting a degree from univerity is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Schooling is considered an invaluable tool to achieve your goals. It is believed by some proportion of the population that employment can only be achieved by completing tertiary education;
however
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, it is condemned by others that practical skills are more dominant than just knowledge. I will elucidate both viewpoints
along with
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my own experience in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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with, graduating from college and university fills you with vast knowledge in different realms. To explain
this
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, getting a degree from educational institutions is not just about reading huge books and cracking exams with the highest scores.
However
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, it provides the students with a deep understanding of different areas that they are studying.
Also
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, students come up with different concerns/doubts
while
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grasping the reading materials, which can be cleared by asking the professor. Learners can use that vast knowledge to clear the interviews for their dream jobs. On the opponent hand, hands-on experience is
also
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very crucial to get hired. It is completely true that human learns through mistakes. Mistakes usually happen when tasks are performed practically.
Therefore
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, the person who has more work experience definitely knows more about performing that particular task.
Hence
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, hiring the pragmatic workforce will definitely be valued more than those who have just an education in that field. Conclusively, it is necessary to have pragmatic skills either through working or maybe volunteering to acquire employment;
however
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, the study expertise in a specific field is
also
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equally important to comprehend the relevant information and to secure a job.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic, but could include a stronger thesis statement that outlines your opinion.
task achievement
Try to provide specific examples to support your points about education and experience.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and logical development. This improves flow and makes your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Consider adding linking words like 'however' and 'moreover' to enhance transitions between your ideas.
task achievement
Your essay presents both views clearly, showing a balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is good for clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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